Unloading

Taking a moment to reflect on my morning activities, I realized that I had cleaned the hen house of their abundant output, poop scooped the dry lot of 30 or so piles left behind by the horses, raked out the goat corral of scattered pellets, picked up the dog droppings in the dog yard and followed all of that up with cleaning my bird's cage.

It seems to me that I spend a notable amount of time cleaning up crap.  It got me thinking.

There is the obvious factor which is if you have animals, manure, pellets, mounds and droppings management is a significant consideration.  Then it resonated a step further.  It is symbolic of the past year and a half of my life.

I have been moving away from relationships that no longer speak to my soul.  I have been eliminating negative thought patterns that are non-productive and absolute fiction.  I have removed meat from my diet which I never really loved and the consumption of which goes against my heart song of all beings are equal.  I have been slowly ridding myself of belongings that create a feeling of heaviness rather than usefulness.

I have been cleaning out the crap!

We are still in the year of the snake, a year of great transition, shedding layers, releasing with grace what does not serve my highest good.  I am making way for what is to come next for me.  With a lot of that crap out from in front of the door, I stand here with arms wide open.

Holy Coldiculous!

That's right, there's a new adjective in town and I'm registering it: coldiculous.

It's the word that describes perfectly the frigid night air that is so crystal clear it could slice the tip of your nose, the kind of temperature in which your eyes go on overtime to keep them watered to prevent them from freezing up in their sockets, that wicked little chill that turns your digits into icicles even when wearing thermal lined gloves.

This happened fast.  Just last evening it was delightfully pleasant out there.  Is this what they call a snap?

The thermometer on my porch read 20 degrees.  Aside from the horse water which is heated, all other water buckets are already frozen, and I don't mean just a layer of thin ice, I mean break the ice and bring them all into the garage to thaw out so I can refill them in the morning.  It's so cold already at 8:30pm that scooping horse poop was more like scooping poop cubes, scraping across what felt like concrete rather than loose dirt.

The time has come to pull out the official cold weather wear.  Liners under jeans are laughed at by that below 32 wizard.  It's time to get serious and face these coldiculous nights like a true super shero.

A flight to Hawaii anyone?

Signs

This was my card draw this morning.

I stood at the deck door, basking in the light of the moon, looking up into the world beyond our world, giving thanks to my angels, spirit guides, masters and guru and the Archangels for a good day, a good life, lessons learned and for blessings to come.  Setting my intentions under this waxing moon energy, I felt guided to stand at the door.

Just as I asked for good health, strong constitution and heart comfort for the relief workers in the Philippines, Scout hooted and a shooting star curved like a rainbow right over my head.

I see.  I believe.  I trust.  I listen.  I feel.  I am.

Rosie the Riveter

"We can do it!"

I always said that I don't want to have an animal on the ranch that I cannot handle.  Of course, there are things that require the expertise of others, but it has always been important to me that my animals come when called, respond appropriately and treat me with respect.  It doesn't mean they all don't have their bad boy or bad girl moments, but at the end of the day, they know who rules the roost.  And it has to be that way.

While taking care of the animals was always my responsibility, I used to have help from the ranch hand for projects, repairs, an occasional feeding and trimming goat hooves once the little wethers got too big for me to tip and hold down to do on my own.  Then things changed and the directive was given not to help me any longer.  He would sneak help me with certain things, acknowledging it was a lot of work for one person.

I don't have a ranch hand at my new place but on occasion I could call him and hire him to help me with a few things.  With Pinkie's recent vet bills and the rising cost of hay and feed, my budget is too tight to call in help.

This morning, I woke up feeling strong.  I did two 20 minute segments of Rodney Yee's Power Yoga video and then I did plank for 1:14, which I used my timer to record because I wasn't sure if I was really hitting that 6 minute mark that it felt like!  With the sun shining and the air still, the temperature was very agreeable and inviting for spending the morning outdoors.

I took care of the regular chores: giving Alibi his twice daily Cosequin supplement; treating Faramir and Hy Note to a bite of carrot; loading the cart and putting out hay for the horses and different hay for the goodles; opening up the hen house and greeting each one as they dash out the door to their morning treat of a sprinkling of hen crack; doing a quick about face to shoo Shadow, who had bolted down there like an Olympic sprinter, out of the hen house so he couldn't eat their grain; filling water bowls and buckets; scooping up bad boy Ginger as he chased after my little Squirrel; greeting the sparrows and finches who live in the hay shed; and before scooping 30-40 piles of horse poop, I took advantage of an empty poop cart and head over to start raking pine needles.

The goats' hooves have been on my mind for a while.  I had been hoping I could call someone to come help me trim them.  Everything here just seemed calm and according to plan.  When that's the vibe, it is to be fully appreciated and every second is to be used up.  The goodles had been browsing for over an hour and Pippin started following me around.  We've been doing a lot of work to set a firm routine with him as routine is not in his repertoire.  He needs to do something I ask and then he gets a peanut.  There is no more random doling out of peanuts.

We were near the rails and he stuck his head through to eat the hay on the other side and I thought, this is it.  We can do it!  I filled my pocket with peanuts, I grabbed a long lead rope and the trimmers, he followed me back to the rails and I looped his horns, tied the rope well (still not in the perfect knot but he wasn't getting out), gave him praise and a peanut and picked up one of his feet.  At first he was not into the idea but he quickly relented, stood still, I trimmed, we kissied like mad and he got more peanuts.  I did all 4 of his feet, released him and continued to praise him and thank him.  That was easy.

I think it was easy for two reasons: Pippin was sick as a baby so I had to pick him up a lot, handle him, stick a thermometer up his little rump and he learned that I was never going to hurt him and, he has no fear.

We all went over to the pine trees and I resumed raking.  Ginger got a hold of Squirrel and just as I grabbed him, Bodie grabbed Squirrel.  I have learned that if you can catch a dog in the split second they are doing something they are not supposed to do, that's your only moment for teaching.  I let go of Ginger, grabbed Bodie, Squirrel ran, Ginger ensued until he ran into Big Red at which time I knew Squirrel was safe and I went on to scold Bodie.  All of this happened in a matter of 5 seconds.  Bodie was mortified that he got in trouble.  If you have never seen a dog embarrassed before, his body language and eyes were it in full definition.  It was a moment of chaos and being a herder, he jumped in to see whose heels he could nip.

Several wheel barrows full of pine needles are piled in the center of the dry lot waiting for fuel to ignite. I have the fuel, I need the torch.  Then it was time to attend to the morning chore of poop scooping.

I was hearing it--today was the day to trim Shadow's hooves too.  Now Shadow weighs a good 50 pounds more than Pippin and is quite a bit bigger.  Shadow is a good boy, cooperative, respectful and also does not like to be in trouble.  But, he's much stronger than I am.  I went into the house to use the restroom, refill my water bottle and thought, if I'm going to do this, perhaps a big bite of a power bar will help me along.

I came out to find Shadow at the yard gate waiting for me and Pippin was back in the dry lot taking advantage of his choice of hay without being bullied.  Shadow had been browsing for a couple of hours at this point and his belly was like a bowl full of jelly.  He wanted a nap, he wanted to cuddle.  Later.  I went about tying him up the same way as I did Pippin and I slowly encroached upon his limited space, giving him less room to wiggle around.

Fortunately and most serendipitously, I was dressed perfectly for hoof trimming.  Shadow could move his head enough to grab hold of my loose jacket and jeans (the one pair of loose jeans I own!) with his sharp teeth.  Anything tighter might have yielded him a bit of my skin.

This took work.  He is so strong he can pump his hind leg in my hand in such a manner it's like holding onto a jack hammer.  So, having had this experience before, I opted for a smaller win which was his front feet.  We needed to both feel good about this experience and I did not want to get hurt.  I got his feet trimmed, he got peanuts and love and then I wanted to pick up both feet again before we called it quits.  When he allowed me to hold his foot without any struggle, I released the foot, praised him like mad and gave him more peanuts.  I did the same with the other side.

So, yes, it's a lot of work to do and it's hard work at times but if I go about it with a clear head, confidence in my ability, fully focused and with a lot of love and compassion, things get done and we're all still friends.

And so can I.  This is what I tell myself every day.

Mirror, Mirror

They say that what you don't like in another is a reflection of what you don't like in yourself.  That concept has always eluded me.  I could sort of get it, but not fully grasp it.

This morning I whacked the back of my hand on the corner of the counter and it hurt.  As I thought to myself, "wow, I need to slow down and pay closer attention", I recognized that I took responsibility for whacking my hand.  It wasn't the "stupid counter" and it wasn't because of the dog who was nearby that I moved too closely to the edge.  No, I did it.  Done.

In just that moment, I laughed out loud!  The clarity of the lessons is getting stronger and stronger.  It was because I lived with someone for many years who would do the same thing but the reaction would be a full on rant including countless profanities.  And it would linger for another 10 minutes, "g-dammit, f*&#n this and that, sh*!" and I would listen and sit with my jaw open.  "How could something like hitting your hand on the counter cause such an incredible rage?"  Really?

Back then, that's when I realized I would do the same thing.  Not that demonstrative or violent but it was the counter's fault for sure.  It took the exaggerated expression of another to show me my own actions.

So, this morning when I laughed, I gave thanks to the Universe.  As difficult and unpleasant many of those experiences were, they were what I needed to move another step ahead in releasing my own demons.

Mirror, Mirror, you are the fairest of all.

The Combat Zone

Oh how I love my podcasts!

As I was listening to one of the segments on Tell Me More, one of my favorite programs on NPR, East Africa correspondent Gregory Warner used a term that hooked me and took me straight back to braces in Boston: the combat zone.

His reference to the combat zone had to do with a refugee camp located in the spot between the heinous group M23 and the not so impeccable Congolese army.  My point of reference had to do with the porn area in downtown Boston.

When I was 14 I got braces.  My mom took me to Tufts University dental school the first couple of times for the consultation and the "putting on" but after that, I took the bus and subway downtown on my own for the routine adjustments.

On our first walk through that dirty neighborhood, literally speaking, who was I to judge the wonts of others in the figurative sense, I was flabbergasted!  Despite my Catholic school uniform, what transpired between people in the sexual realm was not a secret, but I had never seen so much of the not-so-secret in just a few blocks!  This area was called the combat zone.  And there was no getting around it to get to the orthodontist.

The first time I went to an appointment by myself, I was intimidated walking through there alone.  No one ever made any inappropriate gesture or comment, that I can recall. Had they, at that age I imagine I would have let out with a razor sharp come back. Perhaps it was the plaid that kept others on their best behavior.



PS
If you don't much about what goes on in Congo, take a listen to this segment and then listen to the one following it.  The doctor Denis Mukwege was a Nobel Peace Prize nominee this year.  Or just listen because this is a truly an inspirational human being.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=243720241

Happy Anniversary to Me!

These past few days I have been quietly celebrating a milestone in my journey.  I have also been reflecting on the past year and sending much gratitude out to the universe and in toward myself for this occasion.

On October 31 of 2012, I moved out.

With very little money to spare, a ranch full of animals and my capable self, I took up a ranch of my own.  Incredibly generous friends and one of my sisters helped me move each and every one of us.  A friend came over to help me make a dent in the unpacking.

New routines were established, for all of us.  New paths browsed and grazed.  New dirt mounds discovered to bathe in.

It was a lot of work to set up this place before I could move.  Perimeter fencing and gates were put up, the house for the homing pigeons would make a perfect hen house after a new roof and door were installed, a goat shelter was built, a dog door installed.  It was very tight on the budget to get this work done but I had a goal in sight.

The challenges aside, I sit here celebrating myself.  It's a 7 day a week job, I'm on call 24 hours a day.  Vet visits, colic incidents, injuries, fecal analysis, daily chores, hay deliveries, water management, it all gets done.  My animals are healthy and happy. And then there's my day job and teaching and my spiritual work.

Some days it can feel like a circus.  When there is a day that nothing out of the ordinary happens, I celebrate that too!  There are some days when I wish I could hand someone else a list of things to do.  It's a momentary thought.

I work hard.  I'm always thinking and anticipating.  I make great efforts to stay healthy in body, mind and spirit.  And sometimes I worry.

So, with this new moon energy tonight, I set the following intention:  That I lovingly release all fears and worries and that I am always capable and comfortable in taking care of myself and my sacred charges.

Happy Anniversary to me.

Adaptation

Survival of the fittest depends on adaptability, wouldn't you say?  To adapt is to be flexible, to adjust, to let go of rigidity in order to make the best of evolving situations.  If nothing in the natural world stays the same, why do we resist change so much?

On a recent morning, at 4am, I was again awoken by howling coyote.  They come through the pasture across the road from me.  The routine is, I get up, open the window and make "ssssst" noises and shine my mag light around and lately I've been turning on the overhead light in my yoga room; they do not like the light and it sends them scooting.  Then it dawned on me, just before dawn, that I shall leave my yoga room light on all night.  It's not the ideal energy conservationist's solution, but because it's so dark here, the light floods out just past my front gates, and I have a better chance of a well deserved night of uninterrupted sleep.

I can't stop the coyote from doing what they do, but I can lend them a deterrent before they get thinking about howling outside my windows!  With this crafty thought of adaptation for a change in the dynamic in mind, I drifted back off.

We don't realize how much we can adapt.  I guess it's a matter of choice.  Fight like mad to keep your position, usually based on pride and stubbornness, or open up and find another way.

Watching my animals, I see how often and how willingly they adapt.  They trust that if I am asking them to do something different, it's going to work out.  It doesn't take much to set a new routine, just a little communication, confidence and a satisfactory experience.  Their instinct guides them and they don't second guess that.  We can learn something here.

One of the key words on a card I drew the morning of my coyote fix was "adaptation."  It said to make lemonade of lemons, which presumably one would do before the lemons spoil.  So, things do not have to get unbearable before we make a change.  Change is part of life.  It's seasonal.  It's daily.  In fact, it's by the second, isn't it?  If we trust our instinct, our gut, our intuition, any of those you want to use, if we trust ourselves, we can't go wrong.

I did adapt.  I let go of something that had been bugging me for some time now and while it's yet to be seen how it will evolve, I feel like I shed a layer and have a new perspective.  Isn't that the point of adapting?

New Rules #2: The Mother Tongue

New Rule:  You cannot criticize others for not speaking English until you, yourself, have mastered the mother of all languages.

Perhaps it's an impossible quest, but I am on a mission to help as many people as I can to increase their knowledge and correct their use of the English language so someone on the other side doesn't utter "idiot" when they read what was written.

Now, I'm not talking about the common typing error or the often nonsensical translations attributed to Siri. Nor am I talking about the really tricky parts of a very confusing and difficult language to learn.  I am aiming to address the everyday usages that are thought to be correct, quite confidently so, but are gravely incorrect.

Let's get started, shall we!

If you say this phrase out loud, you might see my point:  "It's the most stupidest thing."

"I seen it!"  No, you haven't.

If you pronounce espresso as expresso or exit as eggzit, then I see why you might say and write: "ect."  But please don't do that anymore.

Here's a grammar detox:  For kicks, imagine this conversation without the word "at" at the end:  "An ocean roll? Where can I buy that at?"  You feel lighter already, don't you?

Do you say, "Between you and I" because you feel using "me" would sound arrogant?  Relax, it is between someone else and you, and you are me.  Embrace your inner me.

And my new favorite that has become near and dear to my heart and that which I will have great difficulty giving up: "Holly smokes!"

Hush

The irrigation water has been turned off for the season

The canal is quiet

Sounds are traveling differently now

Wildlife will alter their paths

A point in time has been marked

As we head toward winter hibernation

Funny How Things Work Out

It's been well over a year that I have been teaching dance at Maverick's and I am there every Friday night.  Tonight is an exception and it's a little strange but it actually worked out for the best.  Funny how the Universe looks after us like that.

This afternoon, Pinkie was at the vet having a laceration tended to.  When I picked her up, she was still very groggy from the sedation, her right front paw bandaged--they even used pink wrap!--and she had a cone, or crown, on her head to prevent her from pulling off her bandage and chewing on her sutures.

Her walk to the car was noticeably crooked.  Rather than put her in the way back where the dogs usually ride, it was easier to load her into the back seat.  She was much happier to be closer to me and let's face, the leather seat felt better than the mat in the back.  On the short ride home, she managed to tip over and I heard it, "crinkle. crunch."  I had stopped at Trader Joe's before picking her up and got another bag of those addicting potato chips.  She landed face first into the grocery bag.

Pinkie definitely required help getting up the stairs but more than that, help maneuvering with the crown on her head.  Bodie had no idea what to make of her and he wanted to cuddle with her but she was too out of it to realize that.

The vet gave me a plastic bag, what was originally a drip solution bag, to put over her paw if she went outside to keep the vet wrap dry and clean.  I thought Bodie and I could sneak out and feed the horses some lunch while Pink slept it off, but no, she staggered to the stairs and once again, required assistance, this time going down.

The dog door.  A cone-headed dog doesn't fit through it.  She couldn't comprehend that so it required backing her up from the door so I could open it in and let her out.  She whined while Bodie and I quickly did our chores and we rushed back in to be with her.  My boss needed a contract reviewed so I managed to squeeze in two hours of editing and writing.

As the afternoon wore on, Pinkie got a little more mobile and decided to go to her favorite place: under my bed.  Crash.  That was the crown banging up against the rails on my bed as she persisted.  Thankfully she relented after a few tries.  As she came back in the living room, Pooker took off flying across the room because the crown scared her.  This cycle happened several times over the next two hours.

When I went out to feed dinner and lock in the hens (I cannot thank the heavens enough for how easy that was tonight) before leaving for my lesson, Pinkie was a bit more alert and really wanted out of the dog yard.  So, again I put on her durable plastic bag and let her follow me.  Mistake.  I forgot how the horses reacted before when sweet Felon had a crown on her head.  Snorting and prancing, the horses wanted to figure out what the heck that beast was!  Then Shadow and Pippin were taken aback--that was short lived.  The hens were running around us and Pinkie was in a panic sensing everyone's discomfort.  Okay, back to the dog yard.

The nearly $200 vet bill took a lot of out me, in addition to my $65 oil change, so I coaxed Pinkie to her blanket on the sofa and I closed my eyes for 20 minutes.  Sort of peace and quiet.  Just before that, Pooker flew again as Pinkie walked by but she landed on the windowsill and was tripping on the view so I let her be.

As I got myself put together to head out, Pinkie was either getting stuck behind a door as she banged it closed on her way through or she'd stand there with half of her crown behind the door and other half exposed wanting to proceed forward.  Assistance required.

I left the dogs in the living area of the house when I left.  If just Bodie were outside, Pinkie would probably bark and whine and if I left Pinkie outside she wouldn't have been able to come into the garage through the dog door.  It hasn't been since a cold night last winter that they were left in the house alone.  And was she going to have any late reaction to the medication?  Did she go pee pee when we were out?  Had her system slowed down with the sedation and would she suddenly need to go out?

As I was driving to Maverick's I was reminded of the pain in my lower back.  I have no idea what I did today but Tiger Balm, heating pad and Tylenol still have not kicked it down.  It hurts.

Then I started receiving messages and texts that the power was out at Maverick's.  Apparently an entire section of town was out.  As it's just a short drive away and no one was quite certain when the power would come back on, I decided to keep going.  There was a group of us gathered in the parking lot.  A few people came over from the dance studio and The Elks Club because the power was out too and they were hoping to dance tonight like the rest of us.  What a social half hour that was!  We laughed, we listened to music on someone's phone, we researched the bird that was diving in and around us, a Nighthawk, and we talked dance.  Playful.  That was one of the cards I drew today.

The word came down that the power wouldn't be on until at least 10:30 so my lesson was canceled.  Then word came down that the DJ was leaving, so there would be no music.  Then the cook left, so no chance of french fries even if they did open.

We all bid adieu to one another and most of us headed back home--some without power.

As I was driving back, it was darker than when I had left and I could see just how wide the outage area was.  It reached into Tumalo and the dividing line was just a couple of houses before my street.  Back home I came, all was in order.  Bodie was happy to go back outside.  Pinkie was happy to have me by her side.  And momma was happy to reapply the heating pad and know all was well.

Cleanse

For the past few days we've had heavy air in and out coming from the wild fires burning.  The mornings have been especially thick and fortunately as the days wore on, the air would lighten up.  The presence of an undeniable lingering cloak not be ignored.

Today we had a thunderstorm roll through; it rained a bit.  The air shifted.

Much later tonight, the earth smelled rich with moisture.  It seems to have rained again.

They talk about the skies opening up in a storm.  They certainly did--straight to the heavens!  The sky is crystal clear.

The Milky Way is streaming directly overhead.  There are those stars that are so close, they can almost be reached by a determined finger.  And behind those stars is another layer, just beyond reach.  And when setting aside all expectations of the night sky, letting the corners of the eyes be wide, that deepest layer of stars that just begins to lead far into the solar system appears.

Try to hold a finger up and find a space that wide between stars and planets.  Impossible tonight.

There are twinklers, winkers, color changers and the ever steady.

Diving into the window of mystery, the shooting stars are reminders that nothing stays the same.


Dedicated to Max.  May she always be safe.

Counting on Others

On a whim this evening, I got together with my friend Kim for a delicious Thai dinner at Noi downtown.  As everything is connected, I ask myself, "Was the food so delicious because the conversation was rich and enjoyable?"  Or "Was the diversity and honesty of the conversation born out of fresh, creative food?  To spend too much time inserting the experience into a logical calculation seems to detract from the beauty and simplicity of friendship and sharing.

One topic led to acknowledging the responsibility of having a ranch full of animals dependent upon me.    I make certain choices or pass on certain indulgences because I always want to be on the top of my game should there be something out of the ordinary with the animals.  Ordinary?  Well...

When I got back home it was just after dusk.  I changed from my "dining out" clothes to my "how many times can my jeans be licked, smudged, wiped upon, muddied up or covered in hay" clothes and set out to complete my evening chores.

First on the list, lock in the hens.  The big girls know to go home at dusk and they each have their own spot that they prefer.  The chicklets are still sorting out their place in the pecking order.  Cinnamon was perched up on the top wire of the 5' no climb fence, as she has taken to doing.  Ginger had decided to sink down into a nesting box, although a gender check is in order with this little one.  But where was Spice?

My small flashlight was not sufficient for looking for a reddish/brown hen in the dark.  Back to the house I went and came out armed with my mag light.  I have learned from a previously missing hen to start looking in the surrounding trees.  I did, and there she was, about 5 1/2 feet up in a tree.  She's a very sweet hen and she likes, as I interpret it, to be cuddled.  I gathered her up, wrapped my arms around her, stroked her maturing feathers and brought her inside to join the rest of the flock.  All ten accounted for.  All ten locked in for the night.

Yes, a big thank you to Archangel Ariel, the protector of animals, was in order.  It's a lot of work to care for all of these animals and each of them has moved deep into my heart.  My dedication to them is all about love, both giving and receiving love.  It's a great weight and knowing someone else is looking over my precious charges gives me comfort and relief.

These Boots Are Made For Walking...

Taking a moment, as I do throughout the day, to appreciate the good in my life, I noted how I could feel in my legs how much they have done for me today.

Morning yoga
Morning chores
Morning 2 mile walk with the poodles
Raking pine needles and cones
Weeding
Watering the deck garden and the lawn
Laundering horse blankets
Trip into Tumalo for a quick shop
Mid-day chores
Two hours of dance classes
Evening chores
A touch of housework

Oh yes, I am grateful for the strength in my legs and feet and for good shoes and clean socks.  Next I'll add foot lotion and a supportive bed to my list.

Hide and Seek

Bodie is small enough and spry enough to dive under my bed and clear the side rails--if he so desired, which he never does.  Pinkie, who is bigger and taller, has to wiggle to get in under there, yet loves to be there.

So, when they play Hide and Seek in the house, a totally unsanctioned indoor sport, Pinkie does her expertly executed chest crawl to get under the bed in record time and Bodie sits beside her uncovered paws, letting her believe she is hiding, and waiting her out.

Bodie has infinite patience.  Pinkie has ADD.

You know how it ends.

Mango Unchained

They say we gain wisdom as we get older.  I am giddy with my new found wisdom of late.

Not so long ago I was contemplating the purchase of that dainty six pack of Champagne mangoes.  My reluctance to do so was that I found it frustrating that I wasted so much of the fruit when I peeled and cut it.  My mango serving was never pretty like the fruit plates I ordered while dining out.

This is where the wisdom begins to flow, like melting ice cream down the sides of a sugar cone.  If they can make mango look so pretty at restaurants, there must be an efficient and productive way to slice a mango at home!

Years ago, I would have consulted the L-M volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica on the bookshelf.  Again, dipping my hand into my rapidly developing piggy bank of wisdom , I went directly to youtube.  I typed in "cutting a mango."  Sure enough there it was: a video instruction of how to cut and peel a mango.

The video I came across was of a laid back Asian guy sitting in his living room.  On the coffee table in front of him he had a cutting board, knife, spoon, and of course, a mango.  He inspired me.

All these years I have been making a full on mess with my mangoes--juice everywhere, a variety of useless utensils on the counter, mango on my chin as I tried to chew it out of the skins.  Now, simple, done in less than a minute, like a pro.

The goodles get the skins, the hens get the pit and momma has a pretty row of mango slices on her plate.

So smart.

Star Light, Star Bright...

Standing out on my deck, looking up at a sky most abundant in glittering stars, I said to myself, "Was that just my first shooting star of the season?"

It was one of those out of the corner of my eye ones.  A little hard to be sure if it wasn't a twinkle atop my desire to see my first shooting star of the summer.

Passing by the Big Dipper, turning my head toward the northeast, there they go!  Two shooting stars, almost side by side, as if to say, "We're here!"

Very cool.

Choosing A Makeover

You know those sinus headaches that go on for a few days?  The ones that drag and hurt and pretty much cloud your entire being?  The kind that no matter what you do for relief, it won't budge?

Well, that familiar little no good pest has been around my head since Thursday.  What options did I have?  Be miserable sitting and doing nothing but complaining about my misery or keep myself occupied with other things and only be aware of the persistent misery when it knocks real hard?  I chose the latter.

The other things mentioned included two fairly late nights out involving some loud music and dancing.  Now, the dancing part really does help keep the pain at bay.  There is a reality bite here in that burning the midnight oil on consecutive nights and getting up early the next day while fighting off a physical challenge does take its toll.

What I want to say doesn't come out right.  I'm more irritated by silly things that on a normal day wouldn't even warrant an eyebrow lift.  I even missed dinner with my friend Bill last night because I couldn't get it together to communicate my intentions.  So, before bed I took some Tylenol night cold syrup.

Bodie woke me up around 2am to go out.  I have no idea how I made it to the door and back because I'm pretty sure I was sleep walking.  The chicklets woke me up around 6:30 with an alarming cheeping which caused enough concern for me to get up.  Upon trying to locate three chicks through very groggy eyes, I found two, and they were in a panic because one was missing.  We found her, tucked up under the flap of the cardboard box.  All was well.  Back to bed I went.

Sometime around 8:30am I got up.  While I knew none of my animals would die if they didn't eat before 9am, I sure felt like if I didn't go back to bed I just might croak.  Nonetheless, out we went for morning chores.  When I finished, I had to think about the list and knew I had covered the compulsories but I sure didn't do them fully awake.

I didn't even have energy to make something to eat.  I had a cup of Throat Coat tea, looked at Facebook, talked to the animals and then decided it was time to nap.  Oh, I'd say three hours went by, occasionally waking up to Bodie barking at any passerby or Pinkie curling up into my back and then getting down and back up again.

I had fed a light breakfast so the horses needed a lunch.  In the meantime, my friend Kim had called to say they could drop off a basketball for the goodles.  I'm not really sure what I said the first time I called her back.  Recognizing my lack of clarity, while I was outside, I sat down in the dry lot and I just looked and listened and breathed.  Shadow and Pippin found their spots to get down close by and chew cud, Red was doodling for his girls, my wild birds were so generous with their songs they induced an immediate smile, the horses were chewing hay, the canal water rushing by, Bodie by the gate listening to the street with one ear and watching me with both eyes, and Pinkie was curled up under my legs seeking comfort from the sound of a neighbor shooting.  Such bliss.  Such peace.  Such gratitude.  My heart smiled.

I called Kim back to invite her and Scott over for quesadillas.  Yum!  Black beans, chipotle sausage, roasted vegetables, mango and avocado.  I could not keep that dish to myself!  A quick dip in the shower, a little straightening up of the house, chop chop vegetables, a little uplifting message from Pema Chodron and we had a feast!

So, yes, I could have chosen to stay in the dark side of my mood and let the physical discomfort rule my day.  But after sitting out with the animals and just taking it all in, I heard them say, "We like it better when you're at peace."  And my day changed.

Getting It Str8.

Just so I understand this correctly, the Boy Scouts has lifted its ban on openly gay boys, but openly gay men are not allowed in the organization.  At least that's what I've been hearing on NPR this afternoon.

Imagine being a parent of a young 12 year old boy who has been struggling with his place in life and has finally realized and is beginning to courageously accept that he is gay.  I would imagine you only want the best for this tender heart coming out to the world which he probably already knows will judge him more for being gay than anything else he does.

He decides to join the Boy Scouts.  You spend the money on the uniform, the meetings, the trips, you drive him back and forth, you listen to the stories of what new skills he learned and about life's values from those who the Boy Scouts put in charge of building character and self-esteem in youth, of being their role model.  You know, the straight guys.

For six years your son excels in the Boy Scouts.  He flourishes, he thrives, he creates, he shares, he is proud of who he has become.  It's his 18th birthday that year.  Now he must separate from the Boy Scouts.  Why?  Not because of behavior unbecoming a Boy Scout, not because he didn't meet the expectations of being a citizen of the community, not because he wasn't kind or respectful to his peers, but because he became of adult age and he's gay.

The Boy Scouts decided to allow gay boys to be part of their organization, but not the respectable, dedicated gay men who grew up in the organization and to whom those developing spirits would look for truth.

Hmmmm, I knew there was a reason I never wanted to be a Boy Scout.

Expect the Unexpected.

Paraphrasing a line from one of my all-time favorite movies, Diner, "If you don't have daydreams, you have nightmares."

And so I drove home after a full day out dreaming about an early evening of completed chores, dinner, reading, maybe indulging in one of the last two recorded episodes of Scandal, and early to bed.  Aaahhh, the luxury of a daydream!

As I was coming up alongside my property, I could see Pippin under the aspen trees.  It sounds storybook like, doesn't it?  But you see, there are no aspen trees in his fenced area.  Quick calculation: will he stay where he is long enough for me to open the gate, back the car in and close the gate again?  I must admit, he was a like deer, frozen in the trees just staring at me.  If it weren't Pippin, I'd half think he felt like a bad boy for getting out.

Success!  I got in the garage.  I realized the other part of my daydream, taking a quick catnap for 10 minutes before heading out for chores, had been dashed and now getting into ranch gear and heading out was priority #1.  The dogs felt otherwise.  Feed the dogs, then go change.

I looked out the window to see Shadow's wiggling tail as he jogged down to the hen house in his spirited caprine style.  With no time to change, I ran down to the hen house to shoo him away from the grain.  There were two eggs under the nesting boxes, so I grabbed those.  Poor calculation:  Carrying two eggs while wearing nice trousers and a pricey jacket made for a very dicey return to the house as the goodles were in "let's play!" mode.  I grabbed the nearest stick and started snapping them on the nose each time they tried one of their tricks until I got in behind the gate.  Whew.

My mom had called as I was first getting home and I told her I'd ring her right back.  Well, it was a good 25 minutes before I got to do that.  We chatted for a few minutes while I changed and checked on the three day old chicklets and once again headed outdoors.  It's always a pleasure to chat with my mother if only for a few minutes.

As I made my way out, the goats were at the gate to the yard.  Thinking it still a treat to make that daydream a reality, I put them in the dog yard to browse on the grass and stay out of my short hair for a spell.  I went on to feed the horses, empty the manure carts and give a snack to the hens who had been following me around literally asking for a snack.  I had been suspicious of Miss Honey Pot and looking at her this evening, I guessed we might be back to being egg bound.

Another quick calculation: Do I pick up Honey and a handful of hay and head straight to the kennel sitting in the dog yard?  Was I nuts!  The saner approach required going back to the dog yard, picking up the kennel and a towel, and pushing back Pippin who then wanted to play with the kennel and block my ability to move quickly.  Escaping the goodle antics, I swept out the kennel and stuffed some hay in it and headed back to set it up in the garage.

Where's Pippin?  He was nowhere to be found in the dog yard.  The gate at the top of the stairs where he got his head stuck last week was latched closed.  I know he didn't jump the fence.  He didn't? Did he?

Sure enough, I open the garage door and who is standing inside? "Ma'aaa."  There was the little one.  He got himself through the dog door and into the garage!  He weighs about 150 pounds.  And what on earth ever possessed him to go through a door he didn't even know existed and certainly had no idea of what was on the other side?!

Tick tick tick, I was feeling my daydream float further away.  Opening the door to get Pippin out and the kennel in required letting Shadow in.  If there is one thing that is an absolute must on this ranch, it is to have peanuts in my pocket at all times.  It's the only way to coax them for anything.  Except Pippin.  He found it cozy to be half in, half out and stretching his neck as far as he could to get that peanut without actually coming out the door.

Finally, I got them out and lured them back into the dry lot where I knew they could not go anywhere (at least they haven't figured anything out yet.)  Honey had gone to the hen house, so I went down to scoop her up and bring her to the garage and sit her in a warm bath.  You wouldn't think chickens like to sit in water, but they find it very relaxing.  I put the plastic cover on the dog door so Bodie and Pinkie couldn't come in and Honey and I enjoyed a quiet 15 minutes together.

The hope is the warm water relaxes her enough that she can pass the egg.  To encourage movement a bit more, I suited up with a latex glove and "personal lubricant" on my fingers and massaged her vent.  Another thing you couldn't imagine a hen sitting still for, but it's quite fascinating to observe what they will tolerate when they sense it is to help them.

So, Honey will spend the night in the garage under a blanket in her kennel with a personal serving of yogurt and banana.  Tomorrow we will do another soak and see if anything has shifted.  I do hope it does.

Still hoping for a cloud of that daydream, I cut my chores a tad short, kissed the four-legged angels goodnight and came inside.  Again, there was another plan in play for me.  It seems that the energy of the feisty goats and the insufferable curiosity of a hen in the garage had the dogs much too keyed up to be inside.

Calculation in moderation: Do I write out my electric bill and take the poodles for a walk to the mailbox so they can burn off that pent up canine juice?  Yes.  It would be in my best interest to do so.  Back on with my coat and shoes, another salutation to Honey as we passed by, and slam go the breaks!  One of my neighbors who walks her four dogs every evening was just passing by.  It's bad enough that Bodie barks and chases the dogs along the fence, I didn't think opening the gate to go walking at that moment was going to help me in attaining my quiet evening plan.

So, we waited for about 10 minutes for them to get to the end of the street and back again past our house, then we set out for a brisk jaunt of peeing, pooping, sniffing and circling.  I am fortunate that they are so good off leash on a walk.  I like to walk fast and it definitely keeps them moving.  Making our way back into the gate, I could hear the pages of my newspaper turning.

While this won't be the early evening I had envisioned, the events of the evening went along rather smoothly, all things considered.  That's the best I can hope for everyday.

Something told me this morning when I was pulling out of the garage and got out to lock the dogs in the yard and I saw Baby stand up and drop an egg right there on the gravel that this was going to be one of those days where you just have to go with the flow.  At least if you expect the unexpected, not too much will catch you by surprise.

Go Ahead. Just Rip My Heart Out

Hate is a very ugly word and if the Dalai Lama can give me a better word to describe this feeling I have, I will use it.  In the meantime, I hate coyotes.

This evening I lost three hens, not including Karen earlier in the week.  And what about Dumpling's injuries which led to her death a few weeks back?  In my deepest of prayers, I ask that two of those hens are up in a tree somewhere and will be back tomorrow.  The fate of the third is certain.

After a very stimulating three hour dance workshop followed by a well deserved enjoyable early dinner with my friend Kim and then a quick stop and try on of many at the essential oils section of Whole Foods, I made my way back home.  As I pulled in the driveway, Red and Honey were coming toward me.  I did think it a bit strange that they would be headed in my direction at 7:45pm but then again, the days are getting longer, so I passed it off as that.

I came in the house to change and then head out to do my evening chores.  It was still plenty light out.  As I came to the hay shed, Honey was perched up on a board and settled in as if to sleep there.  Strange.  And I passed that off as wondering if she was not feeling well again.  I scooped her up and brought her home and as we approached the hen house, she squawked and squirmed.  Why were there only five hens in the house?  Red wasn't there so I passed that off as him being out escorting the last few girls back home.

From out in the dry lot, I heard a rumpus from my neighbor's hen house.  Could have just been the hens settling down for the night except that both Bodie and Pinkie were keying in on something in the air and they were both at the fence on alert.  I called Aaron to ask if his hens were locked in and he told me more or less but that they have lost a few over the past weeks.  Just as he said that, I saw two coyote walking toward his hen house.  In my strongest voice possible that could carry over the rushing canal, I yipped for them to move along.  Aaron was out of town fighting fires being set by a pesky arsonist up in Montana but when he comes back tomorrow, he will set out with his bow and arrow with the intention of taking out a coyote or two.

Hanging up from Aaron, I turned around to notice Red sitting up on the rail of the tack room.  The previous hints of something amiss were passed off, but this was too strange.  I walked him back to the hen house, counted my hens again, closed up the door and started looking around.

I found black and white feathers of one of my Barred Rock hens on both sides of the fence by the hen house.  On the other side, there was a significant pile of them that told me the hen was snatched near the fence on my side, carried over and disposed of on the other side.

The sun was setting and seeing clearly through my tears was becoming a challenge.  I couldn't find any other feathers nearby.  But who was it?  It was either Baby or Alice, my two oldest girls, or Precious, one of my first year babies.

It still leaves two hens unaccounted for, not forgetting Karen.  They would be another one of the Barred Rock hens and either Cat or Helen, one of my Rhode Island Reds.  The hens in the house were tucked in and under so I couldn't tell which one of those were in the house and who was missing.

It is always heart breaking to lose an animal; goodness knows I've said that before.  But to come home and find three of your hens gone, it just rips your heart straight from its safe place behind the ribcage and dangles it out as coyote bait.

What If...

What If... is not a phrase I use often.  I'm more of a it is or it isn't kind of gal.  It will be or won't be, as you wish.  I suppose I use it when teaching to encourage someone to think about something differently.  Lately, I've been finding myself pondering a lot of What If... scenarios.

What If those conveniently located fast food restaurants were replaced by farmer's markets.  Would kids crave strawberries more than french fries?  Would families tend to eat from plates rather than boxes and wrappers?  Would the shocking obesity rate in the US plummet?

What If bumper stickers that read "I drive this way to piss you off" were replaced with "Wag More. Bark Less."  Would people experience more laughter in their day?  Would aggression on the roads diminish?  Would people's anger be appropriately directed and addressed?

What If there were no guns.  There was a time without them.  Would hunters take the time to learn the craft of bow and arrow?  Would disagreements be resolved with words?  Would living peacefully hit the headline news?

What If meat ranchers all had a touch of autism.  Would the treatment of animals for food be more compassionate?  Would the meat have genuine flavor because the animals are not sick, stressed and medicated?  Would humans consume less additives that aren't natural to their diet because they will no longer be needed?

What If those who are most vocal about having their religious freedoms threatened treat everyone else the way they say they would like to be treated.  Would insults and slurs go by the wayside?  Would a young boy named Aalam, whose name means World, have no self-esteem issues because of the way a boy named Adam treated him?

What If everyone sat in meditation or prayer for ten minutes every day.  Would people's health improve as their stress level noticeably decreased?  Would kindness be the first reaction?  Would people find greater happiness in life because they take time to look within for happiness, for their own truth?

What If people educated themselves properly before making a statement about a global issue.  Would there be less fear among the masses?  Would they have to confront their own demons before demonizing others?  Would progress be made because dialogue was based on facts not on regurgitated untruths?

What If people were more aware about global issues?  Would the 3.3 billion women on this planet have the same rights as men?  Would there be as much outrage over the rape of women in the "Democratic" Republic of Congo or Sudan as there is over background checks for gun purchases? Would people learn that every action is just one link in the unbroken global chain?

What If everyone traveled to a foreign country at least once in their life, not including resort towns in Mexico or Canada.  Would there be more patience for those having difficulty speaking the English language?  Would people realize there are many ideas of freedom?

What If everyone unplugged for one day.  After you read my blog.

What If.... This could be a very useful phrase after all.

Goslings On The Way

Newsflash:  I seem to live in the flight path... of geese!

This morning starting at about 6am, there had to have been hundreds, as it seemed to me, of geese flying by on their way to Sunday Canada Geese-fest.

Some people wake up to a buzzing clock, a car alarm, a siren, dogs barking.  Not here.  Full on down alert.  And they didn't pass by all at the same time, it was a gradual pilgrimage to pond mecca.   Just as I dozed back off, another of flood of honks toward water's edge.

I don't mind.  I like the thought of them flying in pairs and I love watching them protect their goslings.  It's another notch in the life cycle kind of day.

Enjoy!

Attracting Abundance

As I anoint myself with my Young Living Abundance essential oil, I specify to the universe the type of abundance I seek.  Think about it...if you just sent out a general intention of abundance, it could be an abundance of parking tickets, bruised bananas, popped buttons!

The last couple of weeks have been interesting in this regard.  I booked two private teaching events for May, I've welcomed returning private students, the gal at the car wash gave me a $20 bill that she said she found under my front seat, a friend gave me a generous gift, and I received a bonus from work!

So as today is rather windy and I'm a bit foggy from a very late night and early morning, I've decided to go through my mail.  I don't do this as often as I should.

A notice from Delta inviting me to use the last of my miles on magazines was one piece of unopened mail.  I've already used these on magazines but it seems using them before has somehow generated more miles because I just placed my order for 300 weeks of the WSJ (I miss that newspaper), a year of Entertainment Weekly and The Economist.  Shhhh, I whisper to you that the invitation had a deadline which had passed but the return message said my subscriptions were being processed.

There was an invitation from Nielsen to complete a survey on my television habits.  I started to tear it up for the recycle bin when it struck me as possibly a fun thing to do, so I opened it.  There were two very crisp $1 bills in there as a thank you for completing the survey!  I had missed the survey deadline it seems, but as they were kind enough to send me $2, I thought it my duty to attempt to complete the survey.

Another piece of mail contained a $20 discount on a seafood order from Omaha Steaks.  The Seafood Sampler would be far more food than I could handle, or rather my freezer could handle, but my friend April is happy to share the order with me so we each get a reasonable portion of good quality seafood at a very good discounted price, plus the discount!

Last night at Maverick's, in addition to the wonderful people I see there regularly, two students who have been traveling for over a month came in to let me know they were back and ready to resume lessons, my physician was there, and a student from four years ago was there.  Funny to have such connections all there on the same night.

So, I shall be very clear about my intentions for abundance as I would like time to read my new subscriptions and prepare for the next Nielsen survey, but not too much time!

Stop and Listen

There are some things that I just know.  I know them either before they happen or without being told.  What I don't know yet is how to truly listen for this gift all of the time.

The little things like seeing a friend in a vision out with her husband and later she tells me she and her husband are going out, or just knowing with conviction that I need to connect with someone, they seem almost benign.  It's when I give them thought that I recognize they are more than a coincidence because the message is so strong.

The big things, like death or waking up one morning knowing clear as a bell that my partner has hooked up with one of my friends, those never seem benign. Yet, how did I know?

These past weeks have been chaotic, ungrounded, physically painful.  I had a visitation from the Archangels and my house and I were turned upside down for five days during their stay.  I was experiencing absolute frenetic energy and it was jarring.

Then one of my hens, Dumpling, went missing.  She disappeared sometime within 2-3 hours in the middle of the afternoon.  That was Friday, April 5th.  I searched this ranch high and low and found no sign of her, like she just vanished.  And for the past two weeks I have continued looking for her, still resisting the reduction in the hen headcount of eleven, and asking Archangel Ariel, the protector of animals, to watch over her wherever she might be.

Last evening, I was out feeding the horses.  I kissed Hy Note and moved on to dole out the sweet blue grass hay.  As I kissed him, I had a strong recollection of his very intense and severe colic episode last fall.  He was in so much pain, he literally was walking into trees.  I immediately gave him Reiki while I waited for a call back from the vet and he managed to stand still for a few moments to receive the energy.  With this memory calling my attention, I turned back around to see Hy Note looking at me, and then he put himself down on the ground.  A horse does not lie down during feeding.  I ran for a halter, got him up, scooted him around a bit and the gas passed.  Thankfully, this time he had only a minor belly ache.  Before heading in for the night, I made sure I could hear his gut sounds and that he pooped, signs that his system is functioning as it should.

This evening, I was collecting the pearls from the girls.  As I picked up 3, I looked at them and saw a dark brown oblong egg, which really wasn't there because Dumpling is the only one who lays dark brown, oblong eggs.  

Earlier this morning, the goodles had knocked over a bale of hay.  Rather than pick it back up and restack it, I thought I'd take it apart and use it first.  This knocked over bale opened up a hole between bales; it was like a tunnel.  I looked at the hole with my head cocked to one side because it seemed strange that it would be there.  Carla and I had stacked the hay pretty well.  

This evening, I looked at that hole again and I even bent over to look in.  While it was light outdoors, it was dark in the hole and I thought I should go in and get my flashlight and see what this hole is about.  I didn't do that then.  Bodie was sniffing at the hole and for a minute I thought maybe the ranch bunny was in there.

I was out in the dry lot, again spreading out the evening feed, and Pinkie came up to me licking her lips and with a definite thought on her mind.  So, I followed her out and around the corner and there she was.  Dumpling was barely standing at the entrance of the hole!  Feathers were scattered around and she looked roughed up.  I imagine one of the dogs managed to pull her out.  I could tell something was wrong with a foot and I wasn't so sure about one of her wings.  I ran to the tack room to get a towel I have in there for the just in case moment, and I wrapped her up, grabbed a literal handful of hay and brought her inside.

First things first, I comforted her and thanked Archangel Ariel.  Then I shook up the NutriDrench and gave her some, undiluted, straight into her beak.  This is a syrupy liquid filled with electrolytes and nutrients and that no matter how much you wash your hands, you still smell it on your skin.  I put her in the kennel and ran out to get more hay.  The goodles were circling and calling me, Pinkie was hiding under the shelf in the garage because I had scolded her and Bodie wouldn't come close.   Dumpling's water cup was filled immediately and put directly under her nose.  I could hear Shadow and Pippin walking in the gravel, not where I want them to be, and as I went down to the hen house to get her some food, I found Shadow inside eating the grain.  Thankfully, he has become accustomed to being chased from inside and walked out on his own--it was easy, I needed that.

I left the goats out to browse and I went back in with the pellets and set them out for her.  I wet my fingers and put them to her beak.  And then I gave her a Reiki treatment.  She settled right down, closed her eyes and I watched her body rise and fall with her breaths.

Chores still needed to be completed, so I reassured her I'd be back.  She turned her head and looked at me and I could feel her gratitude.  I asked Hy Note, the guardian angel of my animals, to help her heal.  I told Alibi she was back--for the past two weeks I've been asking him if he saw anything.  Shadow is such an old soul. As I held him, I asked him to send all of his angels to give Dumpling strength.  When I locked up the hens, I told them Dumpling was in the house.  Truly, very truly, they reacted!  Heads up, chicken chatter amongst them.

With the flashlight, I went to look at that hole in the hay. It's only a bale-width deep.  I looked from above; could she have fallen in?  It was not likely.  The hole is on the bottom layer of hay, so it is on a pallet.  I suppose it's possible she got stuck, which explains her hurt foot.  And did the dog/s drag her out?  I think so.  Why isn't there a pile of chicken poop in there?  I don't have a very good explanation.

Just now, I checked on her again, and she is alert and looks directly at me.  Where was she for over two weeks?

Getting back to listening.  Her disappearance never seemed final for me and for these past two weeks I have been asking Archangel Ariel to bring her back, in one form or another.  My petitions didn't seem futile.

After the Archangels left my house, I understood the need for the chaos.  I had become so consumed by external events and influences in my life, that I couldn't keep anything straight in my mind.  I couldn't remember from one minute to the next, seriously.  So, if they couldn't get me to stop and go inward on my own, they were going to bang me up and bruise me quite a bit.  Kind of like being hit over the head with a frying pan--you certainly could not ignore that!

Recognizing this place of inquietude, I went for an acupuncture treatment last Thursday.  Everything shifted and lifted.  I felt joy again.  Last Friday, I really did dance for joy!

With that veil of heaviness and gloom shaken off, I could be available again to tune into this gift of intuition, of knowing, of seeing.

What did I learn?  Trust it.  It's real.

Why Respite Ranch?

When the wind blows in Central Oregon, it's time to redirect and retreat indoors.  Rain? Snow? Cold? No problem.  Wind?  I run for cover!

It is very windy today.  The kind of wind that just knocks the wind out of you to make its own force even more hearty.  I thought spending a few hours indoors would be a good time to start on those taxes.  Then I realized it had been a while since I had posted a blog.  Naturally, the priority won out.

The animals and I are in our sixth month here at Respite Ranch.  Everyone has done a beautiful job adjusting to the new surroundings and rhythm.  They are thriving under the blue skies.  It is a lot of work taking care of everyone.  I am still making my own adjustments for what works best for them and being mindful of space and time for me.  They come first.  As any of you with children can appreciate, my business drops when one of them needs something.

Restating the fact, ranch life can be hard, painful--outer body and inner soul--and sometimes cruel.  Yet for any moment of discomfort, there are hours of comfort.

I invite anyone who could use a shift in perspective, a little personal space, a spot of encouragement to find their clouded truth, to come to Respite Ranch and just be.  We are surrounded by trees, countless birds overly generous with their songs, mountain views, fresh air and love.  Lots of love.

If hugging or grooming a horse is not within your comfort zone, just sitting and watching them and absorbing their therapeutic energy is vibe altering.  Of course, I would encourage you to redefine your comfort zone.  They are incredible healers.  Intuitive, giving, grounding, kind, compassionate, and knowing.  Looking into the eyes a horse is like finding the portal to your deepest self.  There is only truth.  There is only love. 

Do you enjoy eggs?  It is an honor to crack a pearl from one of my girls and enjoy the rich flavor of the bright orange yolk, the way an egg is supposed to taste.  Those not accustomed to farm fresh eggs might think the egg is a funny color.  It's the happiness and health of my beautifully feathered hens being shared with you.

They like to follow me around the ranch and they talk as we go along, commenting on what bug they just snatched from a blade of grass or encouraging me to give them a little snack from the house.  They are big fans of yogurt, tuna, rice and all kinds of fruits and vegetables.  We contribute very little trash to the landfill.

While Shadow and Pippin can get rather randy this time of year, observing their antics and their affections melts away any ice walls that serve no positive purpose.  They nap together, sometimes curled into each other.  They call to me in very sweet voices, "ma'aaa" and I cannot resist.  Shadow is so affectionate, it's hard to fathom.  When he curls up at my feet, I'll sit on the ground beside him and he wiggles a bit to get himself touching me or he finds a way to rest his horned head against my body.  And with such tenderness and knowing that he is safe, my angel falls asleep.

He will stand for as long as I will to be groomed.  He likes to extend his front legs, one at a time, and I gently pull on them, move them around, massage his shoulder and his joints and he is genuinely grateful.  Shadow is my protector.  If he hears my voice change as I scold Pippin for his bad boy advances, Shadow will leave his hay in his house and come running to me, literally.  If Pippin is challenging me, Shadow will knock him clear of me.  Then he comes to my side to be sure I'm okay and I thank him and kiss him and he walks away with pride knowing his momma is safe.  Honestly, is there any greater privilege?

Pippin is a handful.

I pray he never stops loving peanuts because that is how I get everything done with him, including brushing his hind legs that look like tattered wool blankets.  Pippin wants nothing to do with a brush so while he is shedding, he has big clumps of wool hanging off of him.  So, I feed him peanuts with one hand while brushing him with the other.  He is smart enough and understands that I get something too.  The poor baby does take his share of bumps and bruises by the head of Shadow.  There is a good 25 pounds difference between them and Shadow does have all the power.  So, when he gets an undeserved pummeling, he comes to me for comfort.  The other day, he managed, as goats do, to get a hook of a cord stuck in his mouth.  Thankfully, I was able to keep him from pulling and Shadow from head butting long enough that I could figure out which way the hook was facing and get it out of his little mouth.  He cried.  I kicked into crisis management mode.  So now we are just watching the little swelling he has on his cheek to be sure it doesn't get worse but only gets better.

They are humorous.  They are fun to watch running around in circles chasing each other or the dogs.  They are clever and you can be impressed by just what they'll figure out.

No ranch stay is complete without the loving companionship of Bodie and Pinkie.  Once you get past their individual manners of greeting you, they are perfect hosts.  You will not be left alone, no need for affection will go unmet, your desire for tactile stimulation will be more than satisfied, and your heart will smile and laugh.  Their love is sincere and endless.  

As wide as you can open your heart, they will fill the space with their loyalty and acceptance of you.  And when they fall asleep on your lap or at your feet and start to twitch, snore or talk in their doggie dreams, it is impossible to hold onto anything that doesn't make room for your greatest good.

Pooker,   the matriarch of Respite Ranch acknowledges you every time you come in.  She is partial to the Y chromosome, so if your gender is not such, she doesn't intend to offend, it's just the way she is.  She is 18 years old and she deserves every treat, kiss, bath, scratch she gets.

The Respite Suite has calming energy for a visitor.  I had the very comfortable queen bed made many years ago.  It puts you on the pedestal you deserve with its pillow top mattress, extra pillows and light down comforter that is cozy in winter or summer.  The windows are adorned in green, from the natural landscape outside.  The lamps are soft, the iPod loaded, a candle and incense ready for a flame, a few books of interest are on the table for when a line of written inspiration can round out your day on the ranch.

I enjoy my space.  I enjoy looking out onto my animals and hearing my hens cluck up a storm when they've left one of their pearls for me to find.  I enjoy how the physical work keeps my body strong and allows these magnificent beings to exist in harmony and respect of each other, knowing they will be cared for and provided for, nurtured and appreciated.

I think about my previous homes in city landscapes.  What different lives I've led.  I'm going to stick with this one for a while longer.  More lessons have been learned in the past 5 years than in the previous 40.  What a gift.  I am very happy to live this gift and share this gift, and I am not ready to tuck it away in the closet to be cherished as just another memory.

Healing Blessings

 

 

Archangel Raphael



There are a few people in my circle that could benefit very much from healing energy being sent to them.  In your prayers, meditations, talks to the universe, to your God, in your Reiki, your healing practice, I ask you to include them today.

 

**My sister Sharon is recovering from a heart procedure.
**Dear Carie is confronting tumors that have begun to grow again.
**Glory is doing her best to manage a variety of health issues while doing what she can to save her house.
**Devon, a young boy who was life flighted to Boston a couple of days ago is battling sepsis.
**The husband of one of my friends is receiving chemo and she is loyal to his care.

 

When healing energy and prayers are sent out into the universe and up to the heavens, major shifts occur.   When we send healing blessings to others, we too heal as we are reminded of our connection to each other.

 

Thank you for including them in your embrace of good health of mind, body and spirit.

 

Namaste.

 

 

Archangel Raphael ~

 

 

 Raphael's name means 'God heals' or 'God has healed' based upon the Hebrew word, Rapha, which means 'doctor' or 'healer' Raphael is a powerful healer of physical bodies, both for humans and animals. Defender of the Element of Air and of the East. He is the Angel of Love, Joy and Laughter, custodian of the Tree of Life and of Healing Powers. He helps you heal your mind, thoughts, body, and soul. Those suffering from addicitions would benefit asking Archangel Raphael for assistance. Patron Angel of all those in the field of Medicine

A Glass of Prune Juice Please

Without consciously realizing it, a change of perspective is in order for today. 

When we have something of weight running around in our brain, we often lose sight of the information we can gather if we sat back and let the thought run its course but without haltering it.  Our fight or flight  mode kicks in and our greatest defense, being still, gets trampled.

As I was sitting at my table at the base of this cherished mountain view, I tipped my juice glass all the way up to get the last drops of my unsweetened prune juice.  Aha!  Just as the Ace of Swords card in the spot of my unconscious symbolized, Aha! 

Through the bottom of my glass I could still look out over my deck, above the trees and to the mountains, but with a completely different point of view.  The landscape may be the same, but how I view it, how I think about it, how I'll proceed is all a matter of perspective.

New Moon Monday

What I love about the moon is that every month we have the opportunity to begin again.  So, here we are at the new moon.  The energy is ripe for setting your intentions, planting the seeds, beginning the pattern of what we would like to manifest in our lives.

It's no accident that today also begins Day 1 of the 21 Day Chopra Meditation Challenge (although I do wish they'd change that name or explain it to me so I understand better why it's a challenge.)

For those who say things like, "It's that way." Or, "I'm like this." I ask you, why can't it be another way?  If what you do, or are, or say, is not serving your highest good, change it.  If it can be one way, it certainly can be another.  The beauty is, you get to choose.

So with this new moon energy, I invite you to look at what shifts you would like to make and go ahead and make them.  Set your intention, verbally, in your heart, your mind, in written word, in whatever way has the most impact for you.  Repeat your intention as we move through this cycle and believe.

I'll see you at the full moon!

Good Wishes

My day was so full of ranch productivity--it felt great!  I have another couple of hours of stamina to conquer more, but the alarm tomorrow morning will chime regardless of how much sleep I have had.  Despite waking up this morning at 6am to discover a broken water pipe, I have had this outpouring of drive.

I felt light.  I felt peace.  I felt space and freedom.

When I stop and look at events, thoughts and vibes leading up to something, I cannot help but acknowledge that that is exactly what was happening: leading.  So I follow willingly.

This evening a conversation took place that will have a very significant impact on me.  It will present major challenges, a curveball or two, and considerable adjustments.

Here's the thing.  Rather than feeling stressed about the potential for weighty struggles, I still feel all those things I felt this morning and throughout the day.  Rather than feeling helpless and overwhelmed, I feel fresh and empowered.

The Sound of Music is one of my all time favorite movies and I do have to steal a line that "The Reverend Mother used to say, 'When one door closes a window opens.'" (I've seen that movie countless times yet I can't be sure I quoted it correctly!)

I have faith in my abilities.  I am confident.  I am resourceful and creative.

While those statements are true, I call upon my friends and family to help me focus these qualities to forge ahead, clearing the next steps on my path.  I ask you to gift me good wishes in your thoughts, prayers, dreams and meditations.

Sometimes my independence takes the lead.  This time, I'm inviting my vulnerabilities to show up and allowing my heart to be open to all positive energy coming my way.

Peace.  Light. Love. Thank you.

Gently Please

Some weird energy has been creeping around the past week and I'm trying to get in touch with it.  I'm trying to understand my role in it and what it is I am to be learning from it.

After teaching last night and again today, the nag to go inside was too strong to resist.  The sun was just setting and the moon had risen.  I went to my yoga room, turned on my salt lamp, frankincense burning, set out my mat and my folded blanket and went down with the blanket supporting my spine, chest and heart open, arms splayed, soles of my feet together.  Looking out my window, there is the moon, flooding my room with clearing energy.

In anticipation of the next Chopra meditation series, I hit play on The Medicine of Love, one of the guided meditations from a previous series.  Settling in, I tune in.

Word choice is of particular interest to me.  When the speaker said, "Gently, close your eyes."  off I went.

How else would one close their eyes in preparation for meditation?  Is it necessary to request a gentle closing?  What would happen if she just said, "Close your eyes"?  Would the devotees hastily squeeze their eyes tight so much that their nose scrunched up?  

She mentioned surrender.  I'm pretty sure she was talking directly to me.  So I did.

Chill Factor

Now, I understand how you might be thinking this is in reference to the weather, but it is not.

Chill Factor is a 48 count line dance that has very few repeating steps.  I used to dance it years ago with my friends in Long Beach and I've been itching to dance it again up here.  After a few frustrating starts of getting reacquainted, it came back to me.

Tonight, I taught a class strictly on Chill Factor.  It is a challenge.  It can make you stomp your feet--not part of the choreography.  It can get your head turned around so much that you have no idea which way you're going.  And when you get it, it can make your legs fly and your heart sing!

The dance floor was crowded tonight.  The dancing was on.

I like my Friday nights.