Animal Speak

It's a Saturday morning in May and when I went to bed last night, very late, I told myself I would sleep in a bit. This past week, I have been going to bed much too late as just about every evening I've been binging on astrology charts and reminding myself of all the glyphs involved. When a Sagittarius dives into the next topic of interest, it is all consuming.

As it goes in life with animals, your plans are mere pipe dreams.

So it was at some time shortly before 7:00 a.m. that something woke me up and got me out of bed to look out my window. And there he was, Alibi, standing still but whipping and winding his neck around the way he does when he's got something to say.

A couple of weeks ago, just as I was heading to bed a little earlier than usual and feeling proud of that, I feel him trotting back and forth across the paddock. Then I hear his high pitched and forceful nostril snort. Something is not right out there and Alibi wants everyone to know.

I went out onto the deck, the goodles were standing back and watching Alibi for any signal telling them what to do next. I turned on all the outside lights while I hurried back in to put on jeans, grab my mag light, headlamp, gloves because you never know, sturdy shoes ready for whatever. Out with me go the dogs. In the event it's a cougar or coyote, or wandering human, I hope their barking will disrupt the intruder's thinking.

Alibi comes up to me but not taking his eyes off behind him. He's making sure I'm fully aware that he is not comfortable. With his energetic tether, he leads me to the corner of the paddock and directs me to look across the road to the treed landscape. Like any momma protecting her herd, I put a gentle hand on him recognizing his skin is tense and twitching, but just enough so he can feel that I have things under control now and he can let down a bit. He knows this.

With fresh batteries in my headlamp, I head out through the gate onto the road shining my mag light through the bushes and up into the trees, back and forth, looking for any reflective eyes looking back at me. I check back with Alibi to see where his gaze is focused and explore further.

In the end, I find nothing and I head back through the gate not knowing what caused his alarm. He came back over to me and over came the goats. The four of us stood together in the quiet night, letting go of any fear. When I could feel their tension slip away and I could hear Alibi's breath soften, I knew I could start contemplating bedtime again.

Getting back to this morning, unlike the other night, Alibi was not snorting. There was no audible sound from him but he most certainly called me. As I noted his neck wringing, with really really tired eyes I started to take in the scene. He had managed to get his hind leg caught in the electric net fencing around the pear trees.

For my convenience only, I do not have the fence energized. For the most part, they all assume it's always hot...until they don't.

Here we go again, dress up, head out. The goodles are once again standing back and side by side, not in fear this time but in concern. They understand that getting closer to him may stress him out.

Alibi knows me so well he knows I'm there to solve his every problem. He recognizes his hind leg is caught. If you know anything about an animal, you know that anything around their legs generally sets them to panic, particularly animals considered prey. Their legs are their escape. But rather than panic and try to pull out of the fence, which really would be typical of many other horses, he was standing still trusting I would hear his call.

As I approach, not speaking a word, he poops. Ha! Finally he can relax. He cooperates and lifts his hind leg for me so I can untangle the fence and kiss him with reassurance that he is safe to move. Once again, the goodles come over now that everything is clear, and the morning carries on like any other day.

The thinking goes that I might as well scoop poop, let the girls out, and put out some hay while I'm out there.

Tomorrow. Maybe I'll sleep in tomorrow.

If you want to hear what a horse snort sounds like to alert others to danger, this is a good example:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtxecUYUH8A

Alibi freezing mid-bite to key in on a deer friend across the road

Free Fallin'

So here's what happened this evening.

I went to the home of a couple, long time students of mine, to give them a private dance lesson before they left town for a wedding. They're just breaking speed in West Coast Swing, their fourth dance.

We were coming to the end of the lesson and I was explaining how at the wedding they will likely be able to fit WCS into much of the music. As an example of how to use the music to create the dance, I played Free Fallin', the Tom Petty cover by John Mayer.

Oh how the dance angels descended upon this pair! It was magical. Lost was the concentration on left or right, or 1, 2, 3 & 4. They danced. They melted into the music, they moved as one, the room became quite small.

It was an emotional moment I don't think any of us saw coming.

I remember my time at the Damn the Torpedoes concert as a 15 year old. And with that same appreciative but more wise heart, I shall remember my time feeling Tom Petty free fallin' into eternal grace.

Thank you J & R.

Thank You, Roberta Flack

We all know how music can transport us, heal us, comfort us, inspire us, energize us. And when the Universe is on a roll, the right song comes at the right moment.

Most of my friends remember the end of our relationship, the last few years. Those were hard years, painful and challenging. Of course, my friends have not experienced my journey as I have, since then, my healing, my understanding, my compassion, my forgiveness. So when people say something like, "I know your relationship didn't end well" it's almost as if I am being reminded of something, or really, more like being told something that seems so distant and almost foreign. It's just not where I live any longer. I have moved far away from those days. But I understand their point.

Our connection was soul lives long. Our time together was profoundly deep. Now that he has changed the dynamic, in death, another phase of movement is occurring.

Someone posted Roberta Flack's The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. Who hasn't loved this song! But tonight, it's as if I am hearing this fully, for the first time. It was a movie replaying. It was the feeling of cheeks touching that first time in the kitchen, of my heart pounding like never before. He was the one person who knew me and all of my demons better than anyone. It was vulnerable and raw and real. It was love.

My mother had said we had child-like play and laughter. It's because we offered our inner child to the other, to be known, to be appreciated, and to be healed of all the burdens our little one carries for us as adults. That's how deep we went.

For all that happened over our many years together, it cannot erase this. We were destined for one another, we had a soul contract. And now, I think I can finally grieve without fearing being caught in the loop of past lives.

We have truly separated.

And this calls for something different. This is what I am discovering.


Roberta Flack: https://youtu.be/Id_UYLPSn6U

She Says It's Time

What's a trigger if not to expel something lodged deep inside.
Encased. Enclosed. Ensconced.
A secret. But at whose expense?
Discomfort. Dis-ease. Distant.
Distant from the life She lives today.
The life She deserves.
The life She created.
The life She so wants to reclaim.
The trigger rang the doorbell at 8:10a.m.
Confusion. Cloudiness. Chaos within.
Sorting protective layers of survival.
Once firmly pressed down, sheet by sheet, as She kept climbing ahead.
Now the layers are rippled, exposing the spaces wanting to be healed.
She Says It's Time.
Time to go dark. Time to go deep. Time to let go.
It's Time to Speak.
It's Time to Expose.
Expose not the illness of another, but Her experience.
The trigger clicked.
Retraction is not an option.

How Sweet It Is

It is exactly three weeks ago today that the poodles, Pooker, and I moved to the new house. And today, exactly three weeks later, the other feathers and furs joined us. They moved in like they have been waiting to arrive, waiting to demonstrate their new routines. And they got right to it.

At some point I'll be able to articulate what I am feeling in this moment. For now, I'll use words like relief, contentment, satisfaction, pride, exhaustion, hopeful, encouraged, grateful, humbled, determined, protective, accomplished.

Today, it's mostly about the word gratitude. Heaps and buckets, rivers and pools, an endless supply.

Moving the ranch is not easy. Moving while renovating is not easy. Moving while leaving half your family behind is definitely not easy. Without my friends, well, let's just say I was fortunate enough to not know what that would mean.

I thank you, my friends and family, for your support, your time, your encouragement, your talent, your car, your trailer, your truck, your generosity, your caring, your strength, your humor, your effort, your thoughtfulness, your food, YOU.

I love you all. You all have your own spot in my heart. And while my animals are not sure who some of you are yet, I know they too send you love because they know who and what is important to me, that is for sure.

So, as I sit here worn out from the day's physical activity and emotional experience, I am freshly showered and comfortable on my sofa. The night air is cooling. I can hear the night bugs, I can hear my pups breathing in deep sleep. And I can hear my boys outside my window moving around, Shadow calling up to me on occasion, and I can reassure him quite easily no matter where I am in the house.

This is how sweet it is.

Fierce Protectors

This has come up before and again in the past couple of weeks, and that is how protective my animals are of me.  It isn't until someone else points it out that I am aware of it.  I don't think of them as protecting me, but only of how protecting them is my mission, part of my commitment to them.

When I stop and think of it though, we are a family and very bonded to one another, regardless of species.  Thinking about my own human biological family, we are fiercely protective of each other if someone else criticizes one of us or makes life difficult for one of us. It only stands to reason that my pack family would be the same.

Aside from the poodles, all of the animals are prey species, meaning, they are not predatory. But each of them has at one time or another come to my defense. I can recall very specific stories. And it isn't that I've been threatened all of those times, but it is what they have perceived. Sometimes, it has been one defending me from another, mainly Pippin.

I know that can be humorous but there have been a couple of instances where I have needed help because he turned on me without warning.  It has been a long time since I've needed to call on Shadow to help me. All I would do was call out, "Shadow!" with a very certain sound in my voice, and that angel of mine would come running from wherever he was. Pippin would back off immediately and proceed to be broadsided by all of Shadow's might if he didn't move quickly enough.  And then Shadow would stand tall beside me until I let him know I was safe. (And then I would proceed to comfort Pippin after being charged by his big brother.)

There are other stories like this that I can recall, when there was no denying one of them was looking after me. It makes me think how proud and fulfilled they must feel because when I care for them, when I command Shadow off of Pippin, or catch Alibi wanting to nip at Shadow's little behind, I know how strong I feel.

It is an honor to protect another. I think we all wear that badge of love with pride.

What a Coincidence!

Said no one today.

I spent the full day at the first annual Wellness Faire hosted by my favorite local vegan restaurant, Salud Raw Food. Corrine put the idea out there and she drew in some 30+ wellness practitioners with everything from gong immersion to Reiki, to natural soap, massage and of course, Angel Card Readings.

My day started by helping my neighbors turn their canopy around.  As it turns out, my neighbors were Judy Petullo and her partner, Barb, of VegNet Bend.  Judy and I are friends on Facebook, like each other's posts, share interests, but have never met in person. Check.

At 11:11, we all gathered in a circle for an opening celebration which included a singing bowl, a beautiful spoken word of gratitude and a sweetly sung mantra, one of my favorites.  That felt right.

A woman came to my table before I had finished setting up just as I was realizing that the pretty sign I made was at home on my scanner. It was quite breezy so my candle wouldn't stay lit, neither would my sage.  She graciously offered to come back in ten minutes.

The day started out quiet, for which I was grateful, because I really needed to pull back and get grounded in why I was there.  And then the day started rolling.

One woman, a Queen of Swords, told me some things about just saying what needs to be said, saying what people may not want to hear, getting it done and how sometimes it sounds harsh, but she has incredible compassion for people. She is a Sagittarian and did I know what she means. Her reading had the Eight of Swords, referred to as the Victim Card.  I told her I didn't get the sense that it was referring to her but more to people around her.  She has ten people in her care, two are soon leaving, and just this morning she told them they have a choice to either play the victim or take control of their lives.  She also told me she took herself out last night with friends and they went to dinner and dancing at a place called Maverick's and asked if I had heard of it.

The young woman she brought with her, a very at risk gal, sat down for a reading.  She was new to Tarot but used some of her counselor's oracle cards. What powerful cards appeared for such a delicate question.  When I told her that as The Magician she has every tool she needs to bring about the change she wants to see, she beamed.  And then the Ace of Fire appeared followed by The Wheel of Fortune. In this deck, The Wheel is represented by Archangel Michael and when I asked her if she ever works with him, she pulled her medallion out from under her sweatshirt and she was radiant with hope.  She told me other people had told her it's up to her to make changes in her life, but "to hear it from you, you don't even know me" really hit home for her.

A very patient man waited for the people ahead of him and he told me he had to come over.  He wondered if he should but this morning he had seen a bluebird and when he looked over at me, there was a Western Scrub Jay hopping around beside me, and I was wearing blue.  He told me he keeps being drawn to the area near Smith Rock; he's looked at other areas, but keeps coming back.  I said, "because I live near Smith Rock?" He didn't believe me at first and then realized I was serious.  All four cards were of the suit of Water. He said, "well, you shuffled them!" and I said, "yes, but you cut them."

The readings went on and for those who know about the cards, it was one aha! moment after another.

My last reading was with another practitioner.  We were the last two in the parking lot and the sun finally was shining right over us, a little warmth to an otherwise cool day.  She mentioned living in another country, learning to speak another language and making a new life, living in several other places, being drawn to Oregon for some reason and finding Bend to be the place she couldn't find on the East coast, and as a Sagittarius, moving and starting again is exciting.  "Do you know what I mean?"

In my world, coincidence, as is typically defined, is to be expected.  Every one of those connections enriches the journey for each of us.

Animal Communication

Today I had lunch with my friend, April, and as usual our conversation covered a multitude of topics over the course of a couple of hours. One of them was about animal communicators and animal communication, and horses. We talked about just how sensitive horses are, and how intuitive they are.  They know what's on your mind before you get down off the porch.  I was telling her just how trippy Alibi is and how I can ask him to do something and he does it.  I mean, verbally ask, not through body language related to conditioning.

When I got back home, I went out to enjoy my animals and noticed Hy Note's eye area and right side of his face looked discolored.  They roll in the dirt and sometimes he's just dusty, but this was different.  I moved his thick forelock out of the way and saw a little blood in his tear duct and then upon a complete body check, I noticed his cannon had blood from where he must have been rubbing his eye.  Looking again, I saw a very small cut on the lower eyelid.  Another half a millimeter and it would have been his eyeball--it was that close.

Naturally, I asked Hy Note what the heck he did.  What poked him in the eye? For a while it was just late afternoon horse scratching and loving time, so end of discussion there.  I realized it wasn't serious; I would get a warm cloth and wipe his eye and wash his face and soothe him a bit.

When I came out with the feed cart a little later, instead of standing over the bucket he has declared to be his, Hy Note walked away and over to one of the feed bags hanging on the fence.  It hadn't yet been filled, so this was significant.  He stood directly in front of the bag and then looked over at me to be sure I was paying attention.  I acknowledged that I saw him and that I would come look, so he left the empty bag and came to meet me at the feed cart and resumed his usual routine.

When I went over to the feed bag with the suspicion that whatever cut his eye was there, sure enough I found a long strand of chicken wire that had snapped off the netting and was sticking straight out right beside the feed bag.  Knowing how the horses eat from the bags, I was certain this was the culprit.

I have a gal coming for a few hours each week to help me with chores and we started moving the chicken wire that runs along the bottom of the field fencing to the outside of the fence.  The goats put their horns in it and pull, Faramir puts his hoof in it and pulls, it does no good on the inside of the fence and just gives me a constant maintenance project. Yesterday, we got as far as the section just before the feed bags.

One thing you learn when you have horses: if there is anything at all that can remotely possibly cut, hurt, or trip a horse, they will find it.

The other thing you learn is: if you pay attention and listen, a horse will tell you everything you need to know.

Happy

The day I realized 

that I didn't need a reason to be happy 

is the day I discovered

what happiness is.

I choose to be happy.

Moonlight

And so, when she was ready

She moved out from beneath the shadow

The shadow she created

To dance alone

To dance free

It is her light that guides many

Her splendor which renders them mad

Rituals inspired by her phases

A mystery is her darkness

Unloading

Taking a moment to reflect on my morning activities, I realized that I had cleaned the hen house of their abundant output, poop scooped the dry lot of 30 or so piles left behind by the horses, raked out the goat corral of scattered pellets, picked up the dog droppings in the dog yard and followed all of that up with cleaning my bird's cage.

It seems to me that I spend a notable amount of time cleaning up crap.  It got me thinking.

There is the obvious factor which is if you have animals, manure, pellets, mounds and droppings management is a significant consideration.  Then it resonated a step further.  It is symbolic of the past year and a half of my life.

I have been moving away from relationships that no longer speak to my soul.  I have been eliminating negative thought patterns that are non-productive and absolute fiction.  I have removed meat from my diet which I never really loved and the consumption of which goes against my heart song of all beings are equal.  I have been slowly ridding myself of belongings that create a feeling of heaviness rather than usefulness.

I have been cleaning out the crap!

We are still in the year of the snake, a year of great transition, shedding layers, releasing with grace what does not serve my highest good.  I am making way for what is to come next for me.  With a lot of that crap out from in front of the door, I stand here with arms wide open.

Rosie the Riveter

"We can do it!"

I always said that I don't want to have an animal on the ranch that I cannot handle.  Of course, there are things that require the expertise of others, but it has always been important to me that my animals come when called, respond appropriately and treat me with respect.  It doesn't mean they all don't have their bad boy or bad girl moments, but at the end of the day, they know who rules the roost.  And it has to be that way.

While taking care of the animals was always my responsibility, I used to have help from the ranch hand for projects, repairs, an occasional feeding and trimming goat hooves once the little wethers got too big for me to tip and hold down to do on my own.  Then things changed and the directive was given not to help me any longer.  He would sneak help me with certain things, acknowledging it was a lot of work for one person.

I don't have a ranch hand at my new place but on occasion I could call him and hire him to help me with a few things.  With Pinkie's recent vet bills and the rising cost of hay and feed, my budget is too tight to call in help.

This morning, I woke up feeling strong.  I did two 20 minute segments of Rodney Yee's Power Yoga video and then I did plank for 1:14, which I used my timer to record because I wasn't sure if I was really hitting that 6 minute mark that it felt like!  With the sun shining and the air still, the temperature was very agreeable and inviting for spending the morning outdoors.

I took care of the regular chores: giving Alibi his twice daily Cosequin supplement; treating Faramir and Hy Note to a bite of carrot; loading the cart and putting out hay for the horses and different hay for the goodles; opening up the hen house and greeting each one as they dash out the door to their morning treat of a sprinkling of hen crack; doing a quick about face to shoo Shadow, who had bolted down there like an Olympic sprinter, out of the hen house so he couldn't eat their grain; filling water bowls and buckets; scooping up bad boy Ginger as he chased after my little Squirrel; greeting the sparrows and finches who live in the hay shed; and before scooping 30-40 piles of horse poop, I took advantage of an empty poop cart and head over to start raking pine needles.

The goats' hooves have been on my mind for a while.  I had been hoping I could call someone to come help me trim them.  Everything here just seemed calm and according to plan.  When that's the vibe, it is to be fully appreciated and every second is to be used up.  The goodles had been browsing for over an hour and Pippin started following me around.  We've been doing a lot of work to set a firm routine with him as routine is not in his repertoire.  He needs to do something I ask and then he gets a peanut.  There is no more random doling out of peanuts.

We were near the rails and he stuck his head through to eat the hay on the other side and I thought, this is it.  We can do it!  I filled my pocket with peanuts, I grabbed a long lead rope and the trimmers, he followed me back to the rails and I looped his horns, tied the rope well (still not in the perfect knot but he wasn't getting out), gave him praise and a peanut and picked up one of his feet.  At first he was not into the idea but he quickly relented, stood still, I trimmed, we kissied like mad and he got more peanuts.  I did all 4 of his feet, released him and continued to praise him and thank him.  That was easy.

I think it was easy for two reasons: Pippin was sick as a baby so I had to pick him up a lot, handle him, stick a thermometer up his little rump and he learned that I was never going to hurt him and, he has no fear.

We all went over to the pine trees and I resumed raking.  Ginger got a hold of Squirrel and just as I grabbed him, Bodie grabbed Squirrel.  I have learned that if you can catch a dog in the split second they are doing something they are not supposed to do, that's your only moment for teaching.  I let go of Ginger, grabbed Bodie, Squirrel ran, Ginger ensued until he ran into Big Red at which time I knew Squirrel was safe and I went on to scold Bodie.  All of this happened in a matter of 5 seconds.  Bodie was mortified that he got in trouble.  If you have never seen a dog embarrassed before, his body language and eyes were it in full definition.  It was a moment of chaos and being a herder, he jumped in to see whose heels he could nip.

Several wheel barrows full of pine needles are piled in the center of the dry lot waiting for fuel to ignite. I have the fuel, I need the torch.  Then it was time to attend to the morning chore of poop scooping.

I was hearing it--today was the day to trim Shadow's hooves too.  Now Shadow weighs a good 50 pounds more than Pippin and is quite a bit bigger.  Shadow is a good boy, cooperative, respectful and also does not like to be in trouble.  But, he's much stronger than I am.  I went into the house to use the restroom, refill my water bottle and thought, if I'm going to do this, perhaps a big bite of a power bar will help me along.

I came out to find Shadow at the yard gate waiting for me and Pippin was back in the dry lot taking advantage of his choice of hay without being bullied.  Shadow had been browsing for a couple of hours at this point and his belly was like a bowl full of jelly.  He wanted a nap, he wanted to cuddle.  Later.  I went about tying him up the same way as I did Pippin and I slowly encroached upon his limited space, giving him less room to wiggle around.

Fortunately and most serendipitously, I was dressed perfectly for hoof trimming.  Shadow could move his head enough to grab hold of my loose jacket and jeans (the one pair of loose jeans I own!) with his sharp teeth.  Anything tighter might have yielded him a bit of my skin.

This took work.  He is so strong he can pump his hind leg in my hand in such a manner it's like holding onto a jack hammer.  So, having had this experience before, I opted for a smaller win which was his front feet.  We needed to both feel good about this experience and I did not want to get hurt.  I got his feet trimmed, he got peanuts and love and then I wanted to pick up both feet again before we called it quits.  When he allowed me to hold his foot without any struggle, I released the foot, praised him like mad and gave him more peanuts.  I did the same with the other side.

So, yes, it's a lot of work to do and it's hard work at times but if I go about it with a clear head, confidence in my ability, fully focused and with a lot of love and compassion, things get done and we're all still friends.

And so can I.  This is what I tell myself every day.

New Rules #2: The Mother Tongue

New Rule:  You cannot criticize others for not speaking English until you, yourself, have mastered the mother of all languages.

Perhaps it's an impossible quest, but I am on a mission to help as many people as I can to increase their knowledge and correct their use of the English language so someone on the other side doesn't utter "idiot" when they read what was written.

Now, I'm not talking about the common typing error or the often nonsensical translations attributed to Siri. Nor am I talking about the really tricky parts of a very confusing and difficult language to learn.  I am aiming to address the everyday usages that are thought to be correct, quite confidently so, but are gravely incorrect.

Let's get started, shall we!

If you say this phrase out loud, you might see my point:  "It's the most stupidest thing."

"I seen it!"  No, you haven't.

If you pronounce espresso as expresso or exit as eggzit, then I see why you might say and write: "ect."  But please don't do that anymore.

Here's a grammar detox:  For kicks, imagine this conversation without the word "at" at the end:  "An ocean roll? Where can I buy that at?"  You feel lighter already, don't you?

Do you say, "Between you and I" because you feel using "me" would sound arrogant?  Relax, it is between someone else and you, and you are me.  Embrace your inner me.

And my new favorite that has become near and dear to my heart and that which I will have great difficulty giving up: "Holly smokes!"

Hush

The irrigation water has been turned off for the season

The canal is quiet

Sounds are traveling differently now

Wildlife will alter their paths

A point in time has been marked

As we head toward winter hibernation

These Boots Are Made For Walking...

Taking a moment, as I do throughout the day, to appreciate the good in my life, I noted how I could feel in my legs how much they have done for me today.

Morning yoga
Morning chores
Morning 2 mile walk with the poodles
Raking pine needles and cones
Weeding
Watering the deck garden and the lawn
Laundering horse blankets
Trip into Tumalo for a quick shop
Mid-day chores
Two hours of dance classes
Evening chores
A touch of housework

Oh yes, I am grateful for the strength in my legs and feet and for good shoes and clean socks.  Next I'll add foot lotion and a supportive bed to my list.

Hide and Seek

Bodie is small enough and spry enough to dive under my bed and clear the side rails--if he so desired, which he never does.  Pinkie, who is bigger and taller, has to wiggle to get in under there, yet loves to be there.

So, when they play Hide and Seek in the house, a totally unsanctioned indoor sport, Pinkie does her expertly executed chest crawl to get under the bed in record time and Bodie sits beside her uncovered paws, letting her believe she is hiding, and waiting her out.

Bodie has infinite patience.  Pinkie has ADD.

You know how it ends.

Mango Unchained

They say we gain wisdom as we get older.  I am giddy with my new found wisdom of late.

Not so long ago I was contemplating the purchase of that dainty six pack of Champagne mangoes.  My reluctance to do so was that I found it frustrating that I wasted so much of the fruit when I peeled and cut it.  My mango serving was never pretty like the fruit plates I ordered while dining out.

This is where the wisdom begins to flow, like melting ice cream down the sides of a sugar cone.  If they can make mango look so pretty at restaurants, there must be an efficient and productive way to slice a mango at home!

Years ago, I would have consulted the L-M volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica on the bookshelf.  Again, dipping my hand into my rapidly developing piggy bank of wisdom , I went directly to youtube.  I typed in "cutting a mango."  Sure enough there it was: a video instruction of how to cut and peel a mango.

The video I came across was of a laid back Asian guy sitting in his living room.  On the coffee table in front of him he had a cutting board, knife, spoon, and of course, a mango.  He inspired me.

All these years I have been making a full on mess with my mangoes--juice everywhere, a variety of useless utensils on the counter, mango on my chin as I tried to chew it out of the skins.  Now, simple, done in less than a minute, like a pro.

The goodles get the skins, the hens get the pit and momma has a pretty row of mango slices on her plate.

So smart.

Choosing A Makeover

You know those sinus headaches that go on for a few days?  The ones that drag and hurt and pretty much cloud your entire being?  The kind that no matter what you do for relief, it won't budge?

Well, that familiar little no good pest has been around my head since Thursday.  What options did I have?  Be miserable sitting and doing nothing but complaining about my misery or keep myself occupied with other things and only be aware of the persistent misery when it knocks real hard?  I chose the latter.

The other things mentioned included two fairly late nights out involving some loud music and dancing.  Now, the dancing part really does help keep the pain at bay.  There is a reality bite here in that burning the midnight oil on consecutive nights and getting up early the next day while fighting off a physical challenge does take its toll.

What I want to say doesn't come out right.  I'm more irritated by silly things that on a normal day wouldn't even warrant an eyebrow lift.  I even missed dinner with my friend Bill last night because I couldn't get it together to communicate my intentions.  So, before bed I took some Tylenol night cold syrup.

Bodie woke me up around 2am to go out.  I have no idea how I made it to the door and back because I'm pretty sure I was sleep walking.  The chicklets woke me up around 6:30 with an alarming cheeping which caused enough concern for me to get up.  Upon trying to locate three chicks through very groggy eyes, I found two, and they were in a panic because one was missing.  We found her, tucked up under the flap of the cardboard box.  All was well.  Back to bed I went.

Sometime around 8:30am I got up.  While I knew none of my animals would die if they didn't eat before 9am, I sure felt like if I didn't go back to bed I just might croak.  Nonetheless, out we went for morning chores.  When I finished, I had to think about the list and knew I had covered the compulsories but I sure didn't do them fully awake.

I didn't even have energy to make something to eat.  I had a cup of Throat Coat tea, looked at Facebook, talked to the animals and then decided it was time to nap.  Oh, I'd say three hours went by, occasionally waking up to Bodie barking at any passerby or Pinkie curling up into my back and then getting down and back up again.

I had fed a light breakfast so the horses needed a lunch.  In the meantime, my friend Kim had called to say they could drop off a basketball for the goodles.  I'm not really sure what I said the first time I called her back.  Recognizing my lack of clarity, while I was outside, I sat down in the dry lot and I just looked and listened and breathed.  Shadow and Pippin found their spots to get down close by and chew cud, Red was doodling for his girls, my wild birds were so generous with their songs they induced an immediate smile, the horses were chewing hay, the canal water rushing by, Bodie by the gate listening to the street with one ear and watching me with both eyes, and Pinkie was curled up under my legs seeking comfort from the sound of a neighbor shooting.  Such bliss.  Such peace.  Such gratitude.  My heart smiled.

I called Kim back to invite her and Scott over for quesadillas.  Yum!  Black beans, chipotle sausage, roasted vegetables, mango and avocado.  I could not keep that dish to myself!  A quick dip in the shower, a little straightening up of the house, chop chop vegetables, a little uplifting message from Pema Chodron and we had a feast!

So, yes, I could have chosen to stay in the dark side of my mood and let the physical discomfort rule my day.  But after sitting out with the animals and just taking it all in, I heard them say, "We like it better when you're at peace."  And my day changed.

Goslings On The Way

Newsflash:  I seem to live in the flight path... of geese!

This morning starting at about 6am, there had to have been hundreds, as it seemed to me, of geese flying by on their way to Sunday Canada Geese-fest.

Some people wake up to a buzzing clock, a car alarm, a siren, dogs barking.  Not here.  Full on down alert.  And they didn't pass by all at the same time, it was a gradual pilgrimage to pond mecca.   Just as I dozed back off, another of flood of honks toward water's edge.

I don't mind.  I like the thought of them flying in pairs and I love watching them protect their goslings.  It's another notch in the life cycle kind of day.

Enjoy!

A Glass of Prune Juice Please

Without consciously realizing it, a change of perspective is in order for today. 

When we have something of weight running around in our brain, we often lose sight of the information we can gather if we sat back and let the thought run its course but without haltering it.  Our fight or flight  mode kicks in and our greatest defense, being still, gets trampled.

As I was sitting at my table at the base of this cherished mountain view, I tipped my juice glass all the way up to get the last drops of my unsweetened prune juice.  Aha!  Just as the Ace of Swords card in the spot of my unconscious symbolized, Aha! 

Through the bottom of my glass I could still look out over my deck, above the trees and to the mountains, but with a completely different point of view.  The landscape may be the same, but how I view it, how I think about it, how I'll proceed is all a matter of perspective.