Cleanse

For the past few days we've had heavy air in and out coming from the wild fires burning.  The mornings have been especially thick and fortunately as the days wore on, the air would lighten up.  The presence of an undeniable lingering cloak not be ignored.

Today we had a thunderstorm roll through; it rained a bit.  The air shifted.

Much later tonight, the earth smelled rich with moisture.  It seems to have rained again.

They talk about the skies opening up in a storm.  They certainly did--straight to the heavens!  The sky is crystal clear.

The Milky Way is streaming directly overhead.  There are those stars that are so close, they can almost be reached by a determined finger.  And behind those stars is another layer, just beyond reach.  And when setting aside all expectations of the night sky, letting the corners of the eyes be wide, that deepest layer of stars that just begins to lead far into the solar system appears.

Try to hold a finger up and find a space that wide between stars and planets.  Impossible tonight.

There are twinklers, winkers, color changers and the ever steady.

Diving into the window of mystery, the shooting stars are reminders that nothing stays the same.


Dedicated to Max.  May she always be safe.

Felon is Gone

Yesterday we opened the earth in our front pasture, at the base of a Juniper tree, and we put Felon to rest. Several horses came over to see what was going on. We took time to give thanks for having Felon in our life, recalled how she came to us and how much she changed since being with us. We recalled some of our favorite stories of our time with her and some of her daily patterns that were so entertaining. We found joy in that just last weekend she was out burying a bone with plans of retrieving it later. Such optimism!

Felon became ill a few weeks ago. Or rather, her illness started to show then. Her health declined rapidly and I tried anything to stop it from progressing. I discovered she sure did love cheesecake!

It became obvious on Wednesday that her time with me was coming to an end. I had been praying to the universe to either give her strength to recover or to allow her to pass on peacefully at home without the assistance of a vet. You have no idea how much I asked for this.

In the evening, she was beside me on the sofa and I unlocked my heart to let her go. She felt my message and later responded as she was waiting to do.

In the midst of handling her death, I went to the computer and sent an email to a few friends and family. Here it is.

It's 4:05am and Felon has gone to the peaceful world of dog heaven.

She came to my room at 1:30am and she just stood at the door. Her walk down the hall was all she could muster. I carried her to the patio door to go out but she didn't make any motion to go, she just lay down.

She was so gracious in letting me know she was ready.

The sweetest moment was when Bodie came over and lay down beside her, licked her face and rested his head on her head and stayed still. There they were, side by side, beside me, all of us with full understanding. That was a gift. It was so precious.

I brought her bed into the living room beside the sofa and I stroked her until we both fell asleep.

Something woke me up at 3:36am and I saw she had changed position and I could tell she was gone. She was still warm and soft, so it had only been a short time.

It is a peaceful hour. She spared me the responsibility of having to make the decision I knew would be necessary today. Bodie is respectful in leaving her be. He came to her when I moved her onto another blanket, he gave her a kiss, and he is by the door thinking about whatever it is sweet young loving dogs think about.

I thank the universe for taking her in this way. She crossed over as a very happy, loved, ready dog, friend, companion, protector and teacher. She did the job of my dog, my first dog, to the highest standard; she excelled.

We all miss her assertive and gentle presence on the ranch.

Thank you to all of you who have loved her.

With a calm sadness in my heart,