Moonlight

And so, when she was ready

She moved out from beneath the shadow

The shadow she created

To dance alone

To dance free

It is her light that guides many

Her splendor which renders them mad

Rituals inspired by her phases

A mystery is her darkness

What's to Resolve?

I guess I'm on a new year kick.  I took a good week off from Facebook, not for any reason in particular, but I just did.  Logging in the other day, initially to contact someone because it was the only way I could reach her, I took some time to catch up on some posts.  Some of those posts got me thinking.

The ones that suggest that as of January 1, some undesirable habits or traits were going to vanish suddenly.  I thought, good for you if you have the willpower to make that happen!  Some people are successful with going cold turkey.  But what if not everyone can pull that feat off?  I thought, what if we call in those habits and traits that need to go, look at them, understand why they exist, assess their value or degenerative quality and then with total knowing and purpose and faith in oneself, gently release the attachment to them and find our power to stand naked in a more pure self?

Then there are those posts that suggest that someone is going to appear in the new year to make us happy and feel loved and loving.  I thought, isn't that a cure-all pill!  But what if that someone doesn't appear? I thought, how many people do we know who drift in and out of relationships and on the way out usually have much to say about the short-comings of the other person. Are there really that many bad options for us or are we opting badly?  If we feel void of happiness and love, believing those gifts are bestowed upon us by another, how can we expect someone who possesses them to find us when our own beacon of self-love is dimmed?  If we do not feel love and happiness with ourselves, does it not follow that the energy we attract would also lack love and happiness?  What if we live the life we believe we are here to live, if we look in the mirror daily and the first thing we do is smile back instead of inspect and discount, what if daily we say out loud, "I love you," when we are the only person in the room?

And then there are the lists.  I thought, fifteen things to change about yourself in one year is ambitious and there are people who can attack a to-do list with verve and commitment.  But what about us who get distracted between items one and six?  They say it takes 21 days to develop a new habit or behavior.  Mathematically, that would be 315 days, leaving only 50 days of being a sloth, not even enough time to have a week off between list items.  I thought, instead of being beholden to an optimistic list created by someone else, what if we explored what our heart really needs for us to do.  Maybe it is something on that list, after all, we are not that unique, we are human.  What if we embrace that one list item and not only change the habit or behavior, but live it and breath it and share it and be it?

When I look at the definition of resolution, I see the word act and it is used as a noun, not a verb as to pretend.  And I see the word answer, which means there must be a question.  And I see the word ability, which must mean there is always possibility.  So what is the question?  That, my friends, is entirely up to us.

res·o·lu·tion noun \ˌre-zə-ˈlü-shən\

: the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. : the act of resolving something

: an answer or solution to something

: the ability of a device to show an image clearly and with a lot of detail

A Domino Effect

Here we are on January 1 of a new year, a day that can mean so many different things to so many different people.  Despite how much media, fear, and those other negative words can find incessant ways to separate the us and them, there is a night when pretty much all of us around the globe are doing the same thing.  It starts in the island nation of Kiribati and then as the hours move forward so does the domino effect of celebration, one nation touching off the joy of another all the way until American Samoa blows their last midnight horn. We are connected.  We are more alike than different. If I close my eyes and imagine that happening, it makes me want to show up for the day.

Setting resolutions for the new year has never been my thing.  If there is something I believe I need to stop doing, or start doing, waiting for the calendar pages to turn is too risky.  It's likely I will have changed my mind by then.

But there is something infectious about the day.

Rabbit. Rabbit.

How I Love Thee

Where does one begin to count the ways?  I simply adore my friend, Alibi.  I love him from the deepest recesses of my heart.  Why?  What is it about an animal that would make me feel this way?  His soul is so pure and his intentions so honest, to break it down into human constructed numbers would belittle his magnitude.

Tonight, Alibi's favorite farrier, Randy, was here to clean up his hooves.  While Randy trimmed, picked and finished up with the rasp, I brushed out Alibi's wind knotted mane.  The three of us have great conversations every eight weeks.  Alibi always turns around and gives Randy's hat a tug or nudges his back in the gentlest of ways just to let him know he appreciates the care with which Randy works.  And then Alibi and I cuddle, stare into each other's eyes, breathe into each other's noses.  It's such a harmonious and calm half hour.

It was dark by the time Randy got here this evening so we worked under the light at the barn.  Alibi was alert to the night movements out yonder, Faramir and Hy Note were at the fence, not only keeping us company but prepared to take any cue from their alpha. The goodles were bedded down chewing their cud not far from the herd, the hens closed in for the night and the dogs in their kennel until I'd have time to pick up the hoof trimmings.  Quiet.  Peaceful. Safe.

As Alibi and I were heading back to the paddock, we stopped so I could hear what Randy was saying and Alibi could stare off into what seemed like the black abyss to me.  I said to Alibi, "how about a thank you to Randy?"  Around he bends his neck, deep eyes wide open, nostrils large and relaxed, and he's looking at Randy who is packing his truck, not for second taking his eyes off of him.  I said, "Randy, Alibi says thank you."  Randy turned around, saw and felt the gratitude being extended to him and came right back over to give his thanks as well.  Then went back to the truck to get a cookie.

For another moment we shared a few things about Alibi that we mutually admire and respect.  It doesn't take confirmation from someone else to let me know how special this horse is, but when it comes from someone who can recognize and appreciate the most subtle of unique qualities, I am again honored and humbled to have this precious being in my life every day.

No Ripley's Required

When I walked into my yoga room this morning, I immediately felt a draw to my animal spirit guides oracle card deck.  It was duly noted.

Before I begin any yoga practice, I sit quiet, and set an intention for the day.  When I opened my eyes, these two very big ears and two very dark eyes were outside my window.  I approached slowly as I have been waiting for the deer to arrive and I didn't want to scare her off.  It was a fawn with a few spots remaining on her coat.  And then I saw momma.  For the few minutes that they browsed my yard, knowing they were safe there, I watched, soaking in their calm energy for once they leapt over my fence back into the unpredictable, that would change.

Deep, slow breath in of gratitude for a connection with animals.  Long, slow breath out of unnecessary concern for the day.

It was a hip opener series today.  Our emotions, in particular old memories, are stored in our hips.  I do my best to include a hip opener series every week, allowing space for what is ready to be released.

After mediation and prayer, at my table I drew a card from the Messages From Your Animal Spirit Guides Oracle Cards deck.  It was the Humpback Whale reminding me to find healing and promote my well being through music, singing, or instruments.  When I turned my radio from NPR to 70s on 7 last night on my drive home, it was a conscious choice to move from talk to music.  I guess I was on the right path.

As I drove out this morning, I was caught off guard by the sight of a peacock on the berm on the side of the road!  A peacock?  It was a male, a striking blue and emerald green against dust brown and sage gray.

"In history, myth, legend and lore, the Peacock symbolism carries portents of: Nobility, Holiness, Guidance, Protection and Watchfulness.

Contemplate the powers of the Peacock when you need more vibrancy and vitality in your experience. The Peacock can also help you on your spiritual Path, and breathe new life into your walk of faith."  ---Whats-your-sign.com

And when I came home later in the day, there was the most unusual and melodic bird song coming from the Juniper trees.  She was singing to me.

Referring to something else, and with  the slightest tone of sarcasm, my father asked me during our telephone chat this morning, "Did your cards tell you that?"  Yes, dad.  They tell me many things.

Life on the Road

For the better part of the two years of 2002 and 2003, I traveled for work and lived on the road.  What does that mean?  It means we worked 80 and sometimes 100 hour weeks and traveled from city to city throughout the country and worked and lived in hotels.  Sometimes we stayed in the same city for a week or maybe two and more often it was two or three cities in one week.  We slept little.

I joined the subcontractor to the TSA in April 2002 just as the organization was taking shape.  It was a very chaotic, stressful, confusing development.  The SOPs were being written and revised daily.  Our roles were changing by the minute.  The instruction was to tell no one in each city who we were working for or what we did, which was sort of silly when a group of 50 of us descended upon the bush in Alaska for example; they knew who we were before we arrived.  We worked and slept under secured floors.  We ate when we could steal the time.

It was an extraordinary experience, both professionally and personally.  It challenged every logical process in our brains and every emotional thread of our beings.

With all the traveling, my packing, airport navigation and hotel comfort skills were tightly honed.  And my bank account and mileage accounts were aplenty.  This was back in the day when an upgrade to business or first was often a handful of miles or another $50-$75.  This is how I traveled, taking advantage of any additional comfort available to me.

Once I left the project for the second time, I needed to travel for myself.  I took a few shorter trips and returned to Argentina each year for the next three years.  All the while accumulating miles and upgrading.  Then I cut way back on travel and used up my miles on the next handful of trips and gave my parents a couple of flights out to visit.

Here it is, several years later and I am traveling, albeit a short trip.  As I move through the airports, I notice I lack urgency.  I listen to those whisking past me, "I'll reach out to an architect on the team," "The program needs some modifications for the client."  The conversations overheard on the hotel shuttle bus are tense and curt.  I climb the bus with spring in my steps and song on my voice and they look at me with a cocked inquisitive head.  There is nothing about what I see that intrigues me or that tempts me back.  In fact, quite the contrary.  It affirms that I am doing what I love just where I am.

What do I miss about that lifestyle?  The upgrades.  Economy is rough.

Detox and Destress and Set the New Course

Whoosh.

It's been a manic three months.  Today, the first of September, under a waxing moon, in a house just cleaned by someone else, having drawn the card New Beginnings, I summoned up an old recipe of mine.  When followed, allowing for slight modifications to suit personal taste, this recipe is effective in detoxifying the body of stagnant energy, negativity, and unproductive holding thus making space for the new.

1 Soaking tub filled with just about hot water
A lot of sea salt
Enough Aveeno Stress Relief Foaming Bath Gel Lavendar, Chamomile and Ylang Ylang
1 lit kabbala Evil Eye candle
Bhudda Bar on the iPod
1 soft lit lamp
1 bathroom door closed
1 bath pillow
1 bottle of water

Light the 4th ingredient just before preparing the first three ingredients by blending together.  While the tub is warming, turn on the lamp and turn off the overhead light.  Place the last two ingredients on the side of the tub.  Once the soaking tub is filled to perfection, close the door and press play.  Submerge.  Soak.  Sweat.  Give thanks for the lessons learned, the teachers sent, and the opportunities in wait.  Smile.

Repeat as often as necessary.