Felon is Gone

Yesterday we opened the earth in our front pasture, at the base of a Juniper tree, and we put Felon to rest. Several horses came over to see what was going on. We took time to give thanks for having Felon in our life, recalled how she came to us and how much she changed since being with us. We recalled some of our favorite stories of our time with her and some of her daily patterns that were so entertaining. We found joy in that just last weekend she was out burying a bone with plans of retrieving it later. Such optimism!

Felon became ill a few weeks ago. Or rather, her illness started to show then. Her health declined rapidly and I tried anything to stop it from progressing. I discovered she sure did love cheesecake!

It became obvious on Wednesday that her time with me was coming to an end. I had been praying to the universe to either give her strength to recover or to allow her to pass on peacefully at home without the assistance of a vet. You have no idea how much I asked for this.

In the evening, she was beside me on the sofa and I unlocked my heart to let her go. She felt my message and later responded as she was waiting to do.

In the midst of handling her death, I went to the computer and sent an email to a few friends and family. Here it is.

It's 4:05am and Felon has gone to the peaceful world of dog heaven.

She came to my room at 1:30am and she just stood at the door. Her walk down the hall was all she could muster. I carried her to the patio door to go out but she didn't make any motion to go, she just lay down.

She was so gracious in letting me know she was ready.

The sweetest moment was when Bodie came over and lay down beside her, licked her face and rested his head on her head and stayed still. There they were, side by side, beside me, all of us with full understanding. That was a gift. It was so precious.

I brought her bed into the living room beside the sofa and I stroked her until we both fell asleep.

Something woke me up at 3:36am and I saw she had changed position and I could tell she was gone. She was still warm and soft, so it had only been a short time.

It is a peaceful hour. She spared me the responsibility of having to make the decision I knew would be necessary today. Bodie is respectful in leaving her be. He came to her when I moved her onto another blanket, he gave her a kiss, and he is by the door thinking about whatever it is sweet young loving dogs think about.

I thank the universe for taking her in this way. She crossed over as a very happy, loved, ready dog, friend, companion, protector and teacher. She did the job of my dog, my first dog, to the highest standard; she excelled.

We all miss her assertive and gentle presence on the ranch.

Thank you to all of you who have loved her.

With a calm sadness in my heart,

Readying for the Next Chapter

It was a fantastically busy day today. A very warm temperature, a lot of manual labor, multiple tasks going on at a time. By 11:40pm tonight I finally had time to take the shower I was desperately needing about 7 hours ago.

Off rinsed the sweat, dust, dirt, sun block, dog licks, horse licks, mud, strawberry juice from a wild get-away berry, hay. I'm sure there was something else layered on.

We welcomed our first 4 horse guests to our new ranch: Om Ranch. To great success I must add.

A lot of hard work went into creating the dry lot. Everything from fence building to rock and dirt moving to picking up the remains from previous burn piles that never quite burned.

At about 6:45pm our first 2 guests arrived: Faramir and Hye Note. Jeff and Stephanie walked them around the lot to show them the lay of the land and then let them off halter. We all watched to see if they would scare from the new surroundings and fencing. To the contrary, they seemed to just love their new home! They played and ran and made new paths and within minutes Hye Note rolled around in the dirt claiming his space.

Whew!

The other 2, Belle and Zack, arrived shortly after. Hye Note and Faramir showed them the way. Everyone seemed at ease and comfortable.

Our new endeavor: horse boarding. Off to a very good start.

We moved most of the kitchen today. We have been moving our clothes over, shoes, books, things that are easy to toss into boxes and put into the trunk or front seat--the back seat has been recently occupied by 2 very willing to ride dogs.

Tonight is our last night sleeping here at Dayton Rd. We have been here since March 2009. Many stories have come from our time here. Many lessons learned. Many hours spent with very special neighbors and now friends. We are truly grateful for this experience.

And we both agree, we are ready for the next chapter. As Larry likes to say, "It's time for Mary Poppins to fly." It's time.

Tomorrow we move our bed and a few other choice items. Alibi and Tripper come with us tomorrow as do Bodie, Felon and Pooker. The chickens will come over the weekend as we empty everything else out.

Our new home is wonderful! Larry has done an amazing job with the remodel. It really wasn't a remodel, it was a full on gutting. If you could only see what the house was like when we bought it and what it is like today--spectacular.

The island in our kitchen looks out over the living room and on through a big picture window that carries us to the lawn, across the driveway and to the front pasture. The pasture rolls down toward the road and then across to our new neighbors' pastures, up toward their homes and barns and continues on all the way out to the south and east to Aubrey Butte out to the Ochocos.

When people come up to the house and look out, they are surprised at just how far you can see. Expansive comes to mind.

A couple of the pieces I ordered for our yoga room came today. Wall art. Very happy with the purchases.

We have been very fortunate to have found a hard working team to help us get to this point. Jesus, Gloria and Tim have really kicked in when it mattered most. Of course, there have been countless contractors around, oddly enough most have mono-syllabic names.

So, tonight as I prepare for my last night sleep here, I can hear Slammer outside calling for his friend Faramir. Tomorrow I know Pippin will be calling for Alibi and Tripper.

Just as we all experience a move, so do the horses.

Transitions

Transition is good. It's like getting the death card in Tarot; the end of one thing and opening the door for something new.

Transitions can be hard too. Ending a relationship--ugh. Leaving a job, particularly when it's not self-initiated. Moving to a new area--post office notices, documents, maps, new people. And the list goes on.

I look at transitions as a natural progression of one's life. Not everything is meant to stay the same. With change we are challenged. Our comfort zones squeek, the confidence meter flickers, "like the back my hand" isn't a daily possibility. How refreshing to find ourselves with new choices and decisions to make. The possibilities just keep coming.

After almost 20 years in human resources, I'm done. I've had many jobs during those years; each a transition in its own right. But now, it's the big transition and I am more than ready. I don't care to see another resume, read another change in employment law, listen to another grievance, play another HR political dodge. Done.

So a couple of weeks ago I was pulling out of the driveway and as I usually do, rolled down the window to yell hello to the 5 cows that generally hang out down by the road. On the way down the drive, I greeted the horses as I passed them and then the dogs as they ran alongside the car. When I returned home, it was the same in reverse. Then I walked down to the chickens to see how they were doing and checked out the birds flying around on my way. Then I went back inside to work on a dance I was going to teach in my class the next day.

It dawned on me. Transitions make sense.

I've had so much training in behavioral interviewing, reading between the lines, watching body language for that unspoken message, anticipating patterns, noting changes and discrepancies, teaching line managers how to interview candidates and how to conduct a performance review or disciplinary counseling. I may be done with HR, but these tools are engrained in me and are making my new experience even richer.

I notice a change in a horse's behavior or walk and know something isn't quite right, I pick up on the tired energy of an aging dog, I can tell the difference between 2 chickens that look almost identical because I've observed their personalities without realizing it and I can make a complicated line dance come across as easily attainable so everyone gets it.

So, when one thing ends, it's not because it was a failure or didn't work out. That's cheating yourself. It was good for what it was. Hopefully we made the best we could of it. Everything we learn and do will come in handy on another day--maybe years later, maybe tomorrow.

If we welcome transition and know we're being set up for it because we are ready for it, we can trust it and all will be well. If we fear the transition and look at it as a second chance or a Plan B, it will always feel like that: sub-par.

Hug change. It can be great!

Photo with Gingerbread Man after an amazing ride on a beautiful June Sunday afternoon.