Fierce Protectors

This has come up before and again in the past couple of weeks, and that is how protective my animals are of me.  It isn't until someone else points it out that I am aware of it.  I don't think of them as protecting me, but only of how protecting them is my mission, part of my commitment to them.

When I stop and think of it though, we are a family and very bonded to one another, regardless of species.  Thinking about my own human biological family, we are fiercely protective of each other if someone else criticizes one of us or makes life difficult for one of us. It only stands to reason that my pack family would be the same.

Aside from the poodles, all of the animals are prey species, meaning, they are not predatory. But each of them has at one time or another come to my defense. I can recall very specific stories. And it isn't that I've been threatened all of those times, but it is what they have perceived. Sometimes, it has been one defending me from another, mainly Pippin.

I know that can be humorous but there have been a couple of instances where I have needed help because he turned on me without warning.  It has been a long time since I've needed to call on Shadow to help me. All I would do was call out, "Shadow!" with a very certain sound in my voice, and that angel of mine would come running from wherever he was. Pippin would back off immediately and proceed to be broadsided by all of Shadow's might if he didn't move quickly enough.  And then Shadow would stand tall beside me until I let him know I was safe. (And then I would proceed to comfort Pippin after being charged by his big brother.)

There are other stories like this that I can recall, when there was no denying one of them was looking after me. It makes me think how proud and fulfilled they must feel because when I care for them, when I command Shadow off of Pippin, or catch Alibi wanting to nip at Shadow's little behind, I know how strong I feel.

It is an honor to protect another. I think we all wear that badge of love with pride.

But Where Do You Get Your Protein?

This is very common question I am asked by people who really don't know where they get their own protein.  They've heard that protein is necessary to eat and that it is found in meat, chicken and fish, so that's what they eat.  My guess is, they're not really sure how many grams of protein their own body requires per day.  In fact, a study by Luna revealed that 50% of women between the ages of 18 and 50 do not know if they get enough protein in a day.

Where someone chooses to get their protein is their business.  And where I get mine is my business.

But, for the sake of sharing information, which might be helpful to everyone in this round of question and answer...

The recommended protein intake per day for the average sedentary woman is 46g. Note that most recommendations you'll see are for sedentary people; that's alarming. I bump my protein intake up to account for my activity level and aim to consume 70g of protein per day. I can achieve this rather easily without eating animal products.*

So, starting with a minimum of 46g per day, this is my tally so far, and I haven't had lunch yet:

protein bar 8g
almonds 21.1g
raisins 1g
apple 1g
egg* x 2 12g
lentils 9g
avocado 1.9g
tortilla 1g
lettuce .5g

I have already consumed 55.5g of protein.  I have surpassed the sedentary woman recommendation and am just 14.5g shy of the active woman recommendation.

In addition to the protein I gain from this food, you can see the other nutrients, vitamins and fiber included.  

If you believe your best source of protein comes from meat, are you aware of how little the recommended serving is compared to the average portion served?

I say, eat what makes you happy.  While doing that, I hope you are healthy.

I know I am both.

*I eat the eggs of my own happy, free-range, well-fed hens.  When they are not laying, I do not buy eggs from any other source.

What a Coincidence!

Said no one today.

I spent the full day at the first annual Wellness Faire hosted by my favorite local vegan restaurant, Salud Raw Food. Corrine put the idea out there and she drew in some 30+ wellness practitioners with everything from gong immersion to Reiki, to natural soap, massage and of course, Angel Card Readings.

My day started by helping my neighbors turn their canopy around.  As it turns out, my neighbors were Judy Petullo and her partner, Barb, of VegNet Bend.  Judy and I are friends on Facebook, like each other's posts, share interests, but have never met in person. Check.

At 11:11, we all gathered in a circle for an opening celebration which included a singing bowl, a beautiful spoken word of gratitude and a sweetly sung mantra, one of my favorites.  That felt right.

A woman came to my table before I had finished setting up just as I was realizing that the pretty sign I made was at home on my scanner. It was quite breezy so my candle wouldn't stay lit, neither would my sage.  She graciously offered to come back in ten minutes.

The day started out quiet, for which I was grateful, because I really needed to pull back and get grounded in why I was there.  And then the day started rolling.

One woman, a Queen of Swords, told me some things about just saying what needs to be said, saying what people may not want to hear, getting it done and how sometimes it sounds harsh, but she has incredible compassion for people. She is a Sagittarian and did I know what she means. Her reading had the Eight of Swords, referred to as the Victim Card.  I told her I didn't get the sense that it was referring to her but more to people around her.  She has ten people in her care, two are soon leaving, and just this morning she told them they have a choice to either play the victim or take control of their lives.  She also told me she took herself out last night with friends and they went to dinner and dancing at a place called Maverick's and asked if I had heard of it.

The young woman she brought with her, a very at risk gal, sat down for a reading.  She was new to Tarot but used some of her counselor's oracle cards. What powerful cards appeared for such a delicate question.  When I told her that as The Magician she has every tool she needs to bring about the change she wants to see, she beamed.  And then the Ace of Fire appeared followed by The Wheel of Fortune. In this deck, The Wheel is represented by Archangel Michael and when I asked her if she ever works with him, she pulled her medallion out from under her sweatshirt and she was radiant with hope.  She told me other people had told her it's up to her to make changes in her life, but "to hear it from you, you don't even know me" really hit home for her.

A very patient man waited for the people ahead of him and he told me he had to come over.  He wondered if he should but this morning he had seen a bluebird and when he looked over at me, there was a Western Scrub Jay hopping around beside me, and I was wearing blue.  He told me he keeps being drawn to the area near Smith Rock; he's looked at other areas, but keeps coming back.  I said, "because I live near Smith Rock?" He didn't believe me at first and then realized I was serious.  All four cards were of the suit of Water. He said, "well, you shuffled them!" and I said, "yes, but you cut them."

The readings went on and for those who know about the cards, it was one aha! moment after another.

My last reading was with another practitioner.  We were the last two in the parking lot and the sun finally was shining right over us, a little warmth to an otherwise cool day.  She mentioned living in another country, learning to speak another language and making a new life, living in several other places, being drawn to Oregon for some reason and finding Bend to be the place she couldn't find on the East coast, and as a Sagittarius, moving and starting again is exciting.  "Do you know what I mean?"

In my world, coincidence, as is typically defined, is to be expected.  Every one of those connections enriches the journey for each of us.

To My Mother

Happy Mother's Day to my mother, Joan.

You are my mother, my friend, my confidante, my vicarious dance competition co-judge, my fan, my weekend call just to shoot the breeze, my weekly call just because, my concern, my lesson in forgiveness, my motivation to always do my best, my audience for my ranch tales, my reason for buying the car I did, my sounding board, my place of truth. 

Every day and night I give thanks that you are here in this lifetime.  Every day and night I ask Divine spirit to watch over you and protect you. Every day and night I feel special and loved when I think of you.

Thank you for supporting me in each and every one of my adventures and passions. Thank you for acknowledging events in my life. Thank you for admiring my writing. Thank you for asking. Thank you for knowing. Thank you for ignoring the human tendency to judge me. Thank you for showing me the freedom of releasing a secret. Thank you for inviting me to show and tell you how much I have learned and continue to learn. Thank you for updating me on your appointments and results. Thank you for trusting me with your thoughts. 

Whenever I say anything that includes "my mother" my heart smiles with deep appreciation.

You are my gift.  

With endless blessings of peace, light, and love.

Noelle.

Animal Communication

Today I had lunch with my friend, April, and as usual our conversation covered a multitude of topics over the course of a couple of hours. One of them was about animal communicators and animal communication, and horses. We talked about just how sensitive horses are, and how intuitive they are.  They know what's on your mind before you get down off the porch.  I was telling her just how trippy Alibi is and how I can ask him to do something and he does it.  I mean, verbally ask, not through body language related to conditioning.

When I got back home, I went out to enjoy my animals and noticed Hy Note's eye area and right side of his face looked discolored.  They roll in the dirt and sometimes he's just dusty, but this was different.  I moved his thick forelock out of the way and saw a little blood in his tear duct and then upon a complete body check, I noticed his cannon had blood from where he must have been rubbing his eye.  Looking again, I saw a very small cut on the lower eyelid.  Another half a millimeter and it would have been his eyeball--it was that close.

Naturally, I asked Hy Note what the heck he did.  What poked him in the eye? For a while it was just late afternoon horse scratching and loving time, so end of discussion there.  I realized it wasn't serious; I would get a warm cloth and wipe his eye and wash his face and soothe him a bit.

When I came out with the feed cart a little later, instead of standing over the bucket he has declared to be his, Hy Note walked away and over to one of the feed bags hanging on the fence.  It hadn't yet been filled, so this was significant.  He stood directly in front of the bag and then looked over at me to be sure I was paying attention.  I acknowledged that I saw him and that I would come look, so he left the empty bag and came to meet me at the feed cart and resumed his usual routine.

When I went over to the feed bag with the suspicion that whatever cut his eye was there, sure enough I found a long strand of chicken wire that had snapped off the netting and was sticking straight out right beside the feed bag.  Knowing how the horses eat from the bags, I was certain this was the culprit.

I have a gal coming for a few hours each week to help me with chores and we started moving the chicken wire that runs along the bottom of the field fencing to the outside of the fence.  The goats put their horns in it and pull, Faramir puts his hoof in it and pulls, it does no good on the inside of the fence and just gives me a constant maintenance project. Yesterday, we got as far as the section just before the feed bags.

One thing you learn when you have horses: if there is anything at all that can remotely possibly cut, hurt, or trip a horse, they will find it.

The other thing you learn is: if you pay attention and listen, a horse will tell you everything you need to know.

A Blessing, Right?

When you have heightened intuitive gifts, sometimes you have to stop yourself from completing that age old question: Is it a blessing or a ... and just look for the blessing. At the time, it may seem like a curse, but no such gift from the Universe would be a curse, so taking time to sit back and reflect often reveals the blessing, as shrouded as it may be.

On the drive home tonight, I just knew there would be a baby animal on the road that needed to be rescued.  I knew it like I knew today was Thursday.  All I kept hoping was that it wasn't one of the playful kids in a fenced pasture I pass several times a week.  I stayed in the left lane thinking that would give me the best chance of seeing both sides of the highway.  My eyes were darting back and forth, and back and forth.

And just ahead in between cars in the right lane there was a brief clearing and I saw.  I saw what seemed to be the down of a parent goose being swept up in the air as the other parent was frantically circling several goslings.  I couldn't stop.  There was a stream of cars behind me and no space to safely pull to the right and off the road quickly enough.

I watched in my rearview mirror as another car in the right lane approached and it seemed to me as if they slowed down.  It was hard to judge as I still had to keep my eyes ahead.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks.  The sobbing started. How is it that I knew an innocent creature would need help and then I was left powerless.  I ran through possibilities. If I pulled over I could run back along the shoulder and try to coax them off the road.  But what if my approach frightened them and they ran back out.  What if someone swerved to avoid them and I was there.  From what I could deduce, they were trying to get across the four lanes of highway, they were just starting out, not reaching the other side, would I be able to affect their instinct.

So, I continued driving, my vision getting more and more blurry.  I just kept seeing the frantic adult and very frightened and confused goslings.  When I got home, I changed and I went outside and hugged Alibi and cried while I told him what happened.

It wasn't until I picked up my computer to write this blog that it struck me.  Whenever I set out in the car, I always ask my angels to keep my path clear and all animals off the road and to guide me back home safely. Knowing in my gut there would be an animal in the road kept me in the left lane. My path was clear. I returned home safely.  Sad, but safe.

Happy

The day I realized 

that I didn't need a reason to be happy 

is the day I discovered

what happiness is.

I choose to be happy.

Was I Misreading Everything?

This is a question I have been asking myself for the last several hours.

The day began after waking from a very vivid and disturbing dream about a death, a bloody face and sounds that made my skin crawl. Everything this morning checked out okay when I was out doing my chores, so I filed the dream away to be revisited later.

While inside working, I heard a strange chicken sound and when I went to the window I saw Ginger running from one spot to another, but it wasn't a panic run so I thought everything was fine. At lunch, I moved the horses to the arena and Faramir was the last to be moved.  Usually the last one runs back and forth along the fence line certain that the minutes it takes me to return are hours. Instead, he was jumping, turning around, kicking and snorting all at the gate area.  I watched him and thought something must be biting him or scratching him. But when I took him out and looked him over, all was fine.

Then there was another strange occurrence. It was a thump of sorts. Pippin ran, I saw Alibi in the arena looking toward the barn, and there on the gravel was a Red Tailed Hawk.  What's so strange about this is that they don't fly much overhead here because I don't have pasture and grasses and I think they have better hunting elsewhere.  Of course, I dropped my manure fork and went running to be sure it wasn't hurt and then prey for the dogs.  Instead, it took off and I saw several of the girls tucked behind the canisters along the barn wall.  Upon further inspection, I saw four feet on the other side of the barn wall so I went in to find Helen and Cinnamon.  They had run for cover.  Everyone seemed fine.

I returned to my poop scooping, emptied the bucket and on the way back in, I saw Shadow go to the water trough to drink and then jump back and run off.  Now that was strange.  And that's when I realized nothing was fine.  My sweet Spice girl had fallen in the trough and drowned. My gasp got everyone's attention.  It has been my biggest fear that this could happen and it's why I keep the trough as full as possible to avoid someone falling in and if it happened, they could reach the side.  It's how I imagine it would go.  Well, of course, the horses and goats drink and the water goes down and my guess is she went to the edge as she has been doing for almost two years, dipped down to reach the water and slipped.

Was it her I heard earlier?  Was Faramir telling me something wasn't right? Was the hawk an omen?

I think I missed some signs.

While I was digging, Ginger went over to Spice and I could hear him talking to her. They were best of friends. And then as if in mourning, all the hens went to the hen house, much earlier than they usually do. Locking them in for the night broke my heart again when I realized Spice wouldn't be on the upper ledge she likes to sleep on every night.

Spice was a funny girl.  She was a big talker. She would follow me around and talk.  Just about every day I would pick her up and hug her and she let me.  Back when she was a pullet, she was one of the first ones to jump out of their crib.  And then she would wander off on her own, so independent.  She and Ginger used to sleep up in the juniper tree and every night I would take them down and put them in the hen house.

And to remind me to pay attention, Bodie had some kind of feces in his hair.  He never does that, that's Pinkie's M.O. When I came in, Pooker was calling but not from her cage; she had managed to fly over to the front window.

I can do without days like today.

Moonlight

And so, when she was ready

She moved out from beneath the shadow

The shadow she created

To dance alone

To dance free

It is her light that guides many

Her splendor which renders them mad

Rituals inspired by her phases

A mystery is her darkness

What's to Resolve?

I guess I'm on a new year kick.  I took a good week off from Facebook, not for any reason in particular, but I just did.  Logging in the other day, initially to contact someone because it was the only way I could reach her, I took some time to catch up on some posts.  Some of those posts got me thinking.

The ones that suggest that as of January 1, some undesirable habits or traits were going to vanish suddenly.  I thought, good for you if you have the willpower to make that happen!  Some people are successful with going cold turkey.  But what if not everyone can pull that feat off?  I thought, what if we call in those habits and traits that need to go, look at them, understand why they exist, assess their value or degenerative quality and then with total knowing and purpose and faith in oneself, gently release the attachment to them and find our power to stand naked in a more pure self?

Then there are those posts that suggest that someone is going to appear in the new year to make us happy and feel loved and loving.  I thought, isn't that a cure-all pill!  But what if that someone doesn't appear? I thought, how many people do we know who drift in and out of relationships and on the way out usually have much to say about the short-comings of the other person. Are there really that many bad options for us or are we opting badly?  If we feel void of happiness and love, believing those gifts are bestowed upon us by another, how can we expect someone who possesses them to find us when our own beacon of self-love is dimmed?  If we do not feel love and happiness with ourselves, does it not follow that the energy we attract would also lack love and happiness?  What if we live the life we believe we are here to live, if we look in the mirror daily and the first thing we do is smile back instead of inspect and discount, what if daily we say out loud, "I love you," when we are the only person in the room?

And then there are the lists.  I thought, fifteen things to change about yourself in one year is ambitious and there are people who can attack a to-do list with verve and commitment.  But what about us who get distracted between items one and six?  They say it takes 21 days to develop a new habit or behavior.  Mathematically, that would be 315 days, leaving only 50 days of being a sloth, not even enough time to have a week off between list items.  I thought, instead of being beholden to an optimistic list created by someone else, what if we explored what our heart really needs for us to do.  Maybe it is something on that list, after all, we are not that unique, we are human.  What if we embrace that one list item and not only change the habit or behavior, but live it and breath it and share it and be it?

When I look at the definition of resolution, I see the word act and it is used as a noun, not a verb as to pretend.  And I see the word answer, which means there must be a question.  And I see the word ability, which must mean there is always possibility.  So what is the question?  That, my friends, is entirely up to us.

res·o·lu·tion noun \ˌre-zə-ˈlü-shən\

: the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. : the act of resolving something

: an answer or solution to something

: the ability of a device to show an image clearly and with a lot of detail

A Domino Effect

Here we are on January 1 of a new year, a day that can mean so many different things to so many different people.  Despite how much media, fear, and those other negative words can find incessant ways to separate the us and them, there is a night when pretty much all of us around the globe are doing the same thing.  It starts in the island nation of Kiribati and then as the hours move forward so does the domino effect of celebration, one nation touching off the joy of another all the way until American Samoa blows their last midnight horn. We are connected.  We are more alike than different. If I close my eyes and imagine that happening, it makes me want to show up for the day.

Setting resolutions for the new year has never been my thing.  If there is something I believe I need to stop doing, or start doing, waiting for the calendar pages to turn is too risky.  It's likely I will have changed my mind by then.

But there is something infectious about the day.

Rabbit. Rabbit.