Three Wise Men

Joy, Trauma Life, Three Wise Men, Release, Valor, Clarity, Inner Child, Higher Potential, these are all essential oil blends I have been dousing myself with since last Thursday.

Calming, Kava Stress Relief, Women's Energy, Breathe Easy, and these are teas I have been downing daily.

Nightly yoga, added meditations, a couple of phone rants and email vents, add those to the new ritual.

I went to have my hair trimmed on Thursday and she cut off 5". My hair, that I have been working hard to grow out to one length for almost 5 years, is now up to the back of my skull.

Surely the words, "I'm not ready for short hair." "Let's keep it all one length." "I don't want hair like hers or yours, I don't want it that short." "Just clean it up." would have been fine clues as to just how short I did not want my hair.

She had a notion of some wispy things in the back. I didn't understand her concept so reiterated, not short, one length.

Several minutes into the haircut, I caught a glimpse of what looked like a fairly long clip falling to the floor. I asked, "How much are you cutting off?!" It was too late. She had already cut quite a bit off in the back.

Oh, it was not pretty. When I asked her what on earth possessed her to do such a thing, she told me, "I was listening to your hair." She then proceeded to tell me how she did the same thing to her sister who yelled and swore at her but who called her three days later to say thank you. I assured her we would not be having the same experience.

I had to go back the following day to have something done with the silliness she left on the front. I guess after my shock of how short the back was, she decided to leave the front longer to "frame my face." There was something else in need of framing I'll tell you. Her mother intervened and she took over and did her best to make something useful of what I had.

It was truly traumatic. It kind of still is. I went in for the usual trim, the same thing she's been doing for the last two years and I left with a cut that not only did I not ask for but had I wanted short hair, this would not be it.

The worst part was that she just could not say "sorry" and zip it. She had to keep going on about how it was a misunderstanding because she told me about the wispy things. She just couldn't own up to her very grave error and that was terribly frustrating.

So, I'm doing my best in accepting my hair as it is. As I venture out people are noticing and commenting on my new look. It's hard to say in a cheerful tone, "Thanks!" I just don't feel it.

But here's the thing...my comb is wide toothed to untangle longer fine hair. My hair drying brush is big for you know, hair. I have big clips and scrunchies. I have hair towels.

I discovered that I don't need a fraction of the shampoo I used to use, not even. Hairdryer? It's practically dry when I leave the shower. A hair towel? I have nothing to flip over and wrap up!

Yes, you could look at those and say those are the positives and that it will grow. And you know, I usually look for that silver lining in everything. I'm just not there yet. Just not.

When in doubt or when making a big change, confirm confirm confirm!