Big Red Laid to Rest at Respite Ranch

I try hard not to blame myself.  What good would that do?  I'd only feel worse and the situation would still be the same. The best one can do is learn from each experience.  When things are in balance on the ranch and all is quiet and good, it's sometimes hard to switch into suspicion mode because it's just not what the vibe has been.  The lesson is: always defer to the animals.  Always respect and resonate with their instinct.  They are the creatures who do not question what their gut is telling them; only we do that with our thoughts.

A week ago, I was in the midst of a fashion crisis while preparing to head out to teach and dance for the night.  I should have left 7 minutes earlier and was running very late as I was trying on the 4th top and that's when I heard Shadow alarming.  That caught my attention immediately because it was loud and definitive.  I ran out to the deck to check on everything and saw him and the horses looking out to the street.  The direction of my eyesight followed theirs to find Pippin running along the fence, out in the street.

So last evening, when I heard Big Red and the chickens alarming, I looked out and they were right under my window looking out to the street.  I thought it couldn't be Pippin because they are locked in the dry lot and getting out is impossible (said with hope.)  Just then, I saw Miss Spice squeezing herself out of the dog yard through one of the squares in the field fencing.  I assumed the hens were tattling on her so I never went to the front windows to check the street.  I went out to the deck, called the girls for a little snack, counted all 9 and went back inside to shower believing all was well.

Just minutes after stepping out of the shower, Bodie and Pinkie started barking so ferociously at the windows.  Again, some things cannot be ignored, so I ran to see what it was and there was a fox, in my yard.  I started screaming out the window, not wanting to take my eyes off of it.  As it slipped between the lines of the electric fence, I noticed it had feathers in its mouth.  I ran for clothes, sent the dogs out to the yard and ran outside still buttoning my shirt.  The predator came in and out of the fence a couple of times until I let the dogs loose, and presumably it got wind of my wild strength to protect my ranch.

When the girls are threatened, they run to a safe spot and stay put.  I had to go find where that was.  I found Angel, Cat and Cinnamon huddled together, Cat looking like the fox got a bit of her.  I picked her up, found the fox only got a mouthful of feathers, and carried her to the hen house.  I did this, one by one, for the other two and then I saw Ginger.  After going back and forth and calling for the other girls, Marilyn, Squirrel, Helen and Spice came running across the dry lot toward me at the hen house.  Safely locked in, I went out looking for my Big Red.

Finding him was devastating.

In the next twenty five minutes I needed to secure his body, go in the house wipe my tears, get dressed and get to my 8pm lesson.  I don't really remember teaching the class; I presume it went well.  I left and was back home before 10pm.  I went out in the night air to walk the ranch and make sure that in my adrenaline fueled frenzy I had latched all gates and closed all doors and that everyone was safe and secure.  It was deadening at the hen house.  I am accustomed to hearing Red doodle whenever I approach the house, even at night.  Silence.  The girls were fine, Ginger Astaire now in charge.

This morning was a rough start.  I didn't let the hens out as I do every morning.  Ginger protested all morning right into the afternoon.  I took time to bury my feathered friend and select adornments for his grave.  One pine cone for each of his 8 charges, a solid stone to represent his strength and courage, a branch of three, a number that has always resonated with me, and simple yet striking blue flowers.

The goodles and the dogs were circling around.  I looked up after releasing Big Red to the other side of life and I saw a lilac bush!  A lilac bush with blossoming flowers, both violet and white, with a fragrance to make you swoon.  Obviously the bush had been there last year, but it had not flowered, so I never knew it existed.

In every tragedy there is something to be gained.  Enjoying the simplicity of magical flowers well past their bloom on other bushes in the neighborhood, was the silver lining.  My mother loves lilacs.  We grew up with lilac bushes, light and dark purple and white, across our back fence.  For many of us, the smell of lilacs calms our spirit and makes us smile.  They worked again today.

Context Is Everything

What a funny!  I have been laughing over and over this morning about a Spanish language mix-up.  Actually, it could have happened in either English or Spanish if you think about it.

As some of you know, I have been working quite diligently to plan a successful week of campaigning for my boss, Aelea Christofferson, who is running for a seat in the US House of Representatives.  She is traveling across part of I-84 here in Oregon, making a stop in about six cities by Friday.  My job has been to make contacts in each city, set up interviews with the local media, radio and newspaper, arrange meetings with the mayors, influential community groups and individuals, unions, as well as an Indian tribe and to find someone to host an open house or reception which is open to the public for a meet and greet.  All of this is to set the stage for her return visits and also to inspire people to get out and vote in the Primary Election and certainly in the General Election.

One of the radio interviews I had scheduled for this morning was with La Ley, the Hispanic radio station in Hermiston.  Yesterday, I spoke with the CEO of the station, in Spanish, to introduce Aelea and arrange this interview.

This morning, I was out with the animals, pulling carts and rushing around to get my chores done before heading to an early dentist appointment.  My phone rang.

It was Martín, one of the political news reporters from La Ley who would be joining the interview and who wanted to ask a few questions to fill himself in on the campaign.  There I was, pulling a cart full of hay and being pressed for time, continuing to fill feed buckets and bags, redirecting two bad boy goats who wanted to cut me off so they could stop the cart and eat, meanwhile keeping an eye on Pinkie who was attempting to break into the dry lot to nip at the roaming horses, all the while holding the phone with one gloved hand attempting to refocus my thoughts on the campaign to keep up with the conversation, in Spanish, in a very winded breath.

Me preguntó Martín:  "Está corriendo?"
Yo le contesté:  "No, no, estoy afuera con mis animales."

Pausa.

Question mark lingering in the air.

Oh how I laughed!  I shall add this to my list of language learning humor along with:

"Why do they keep saying thank you good bye?" and "Oh!  You mean tresmedialunas is actually the number of media lunas I can order and not the name of a very big breakfast?"

I love language.  I love how forgiving we can be when speaking with someone in another language.  I love that laughter is universal.

Translation:
Martin asked me, "Are you running?"
I said, "No, no, I'm outside with my animals."

Western Medicine

When possible, I avoid taking medicines and over the counter drugs, preferring effective homeopathic remedies.  But, there are times when one must put chemistry over principle and take a prescription in order to feel better.

It's been quite some time since I've had a sinus infection and I don't recall it feeling so terrible.  Funny how our memory filters out pain and discomfort for us.  Yet, this is what I have and I know there is only one way to rid oneself of that horrid illness and that is antibiotics.  It's been a long month of restless sleep, occasional fever, earaches and headaches and overall blahness.  I did nothing more than the strictest of minimum required and even passed on some of that.  Needless to say, I got behind.  In everything.

Today is day five on medication and I woke up feeling like I actually could participate in something with a somewhat clear head and with a renewed energy rather than working from dwindling reserves.  Keeping in mind doctor's orders, "don't overdo it", I have done several changes of laundry, cleaned the kitchen and the floors, climbed on all fours into Pinkie's kennel and scrubbed it out, took out the trash and recycling and washed the trash can, done a little work work, caught up on poop scooping, scrubbed some water buckets, played endless fetch with the poodles who were so happy momma could once again fling that ball with some umph, hammered a loose flashing on the horse shelter, fixed a pesky part of the fencing that keeps coming down, watched the Bald Eagle new eaglet activity and the beginnings of the second egg hatching, talked to my mom, topped off with a few more miscellaneous items.  And I still have a little left to give!

I'm going to start slowing down for the day as I might be coming close to the overdo limit.  It's when your meds really kick in that you realize just how crappy you have been feeling.

Good health is on the horizon!  May you be healthy as well.

Compassion

"Let the ugliness of unkindness in others impel me to make myself beautiful with loving-kindness. 

 May harsh speech from my companions remind me to use sweet words always.  If stones from evil minds are cast at me, let me send in return only missiles of goodwill.

As a jasmine vine sheds its flowers over the hands delivering ax blows at its roots, so, on all who act inimically toward me may I shower the blossoms of forgiveness."

~~~Paramahansa Yogananda

The Rhythm Is Gonna Getcha!

It wasn't a typical morning of chores, as I will soon reference, but I was out getting it done.  Doing my best to stay present in the current task so I don't overlook something critical to the safety of my animals, the ring of the phone caught me off guard.  The caller ID showed a long series of numbers with no dashes which I have come to recognize quickly as an international call.

"Hello!"
"Hello, Noelle? This is Michel from France."

It was a surreal moment in that I suddenly was being transported over the continent and an ocean to a memory of one of my visits to France.  I didn't meet Michel in France, but his accented English and manner of speaking had me comfortably seated in a cafe in Brest.

Michel and his wife Danielle were here in Bend a few weeks ago. They discovered Maverick's and had come out dancing several of the nights they were in town.  They are avid dancers in France.  The minute I saw them take the first step in my lesson, I thought, "We need to talk."  As it turns out, they come to this area every year for a month or so to ski, and now to dance.

Michel had called to get the names of the dances I had taught that night so they could start sharing them with their group.  Considering I forgot to lock in the hens last night, I was hard pressed to remember what I taught in that lesson.  I asked him if he remembered the first steps of any of the dances and he said, "Yes! Skate, skate."  Say no more, that is Covered in Kisses.  In that instant he couldn't remember the steps of the other two dances, but he said, "They will come to me as I have been practicing them.  I will be in my garden and suddenly, I start dancing!"

Such kindred spirits.  The romance of a garden in France with sweet tender blossoms, inspiring one to chasse over to the next planter pairs with wandering the dry lot with a manure cart and fork and breaking out in a triple step while avoiding the little hooves of circling goodles.

Sunday Accomplishments

While repairing the perimeter fencing was high on the priority list, I'm not sure it was on my list for this day.  Like most days around the ranch, what is on the list of things to do often gets replaced by what the ranch decides needs to be done.

That very generous snow storm we had a couple of weeks ago really did me in.  Not only did I have to turn off my perimeter electric fence as the "hot" lines were buried in snow, I couldn't do anything about poop scooping with that much snow.  Once the snow melted off, the rains came and the dry lot was a mud bog so scooping any poop was impossible because it would be more like scooping mud and besides, I couldn't pull the cart through the boot sucking quicksand!

As things have been drying out, I've started to catch up on 3 weeks of neglected poop management.  For the past week, I've been keeping up with the daily output and grabbing up a bit more.  Having the dry lot fully cleaned out again will take some more work.

Today, Bodie went chasing something out the back of the property, which is an odd place for anyone or anything to be, except the deer.  When I went back to look, I noticed entire sections of the top line of my perimeter fence were down.  This immediately interrupted my attempt at cleaning the dry lot.  So, I took Shadow with me, gathered up a bunch of yellow baling twine strands and out we went.  Shadow browsed as I tied twines together and started replacing the fence.

The top line is what the deer take down so I have already replaced a few sections with baling twine and have discovered its benefits: 1) super cheap because I already have it on hand; 2) recycling material; and 3) for the most part, the deer don't rip it.  Rather than just replace the sections that had come down, I went around and replaced it all, converting the string to twine.  It was a good time to check the electric lines of the fencing, clearing away any debris.

The hot lines had a few spots that needed to be adjusted.  The snow had pulled on the lines, causing a couple to cross one another or touch the ground, thus causing unsteady current around the property.  I set out to adjusting the lines, turning the fence back on, and walking around testing the lines.  The goat pen is now hot again, for which I am grateful, you never know with those two.  I found one spot that needs a different connection but that is for another day.  At least 98% of my fence is hot again.

I went back to the dry lot and got one entire section of accumulated poop cleaned out.  I dragged the water trough out and scrubbed that down for a clean refill.  In between projects, I was switching out laundry.  In one trip to the house, I managed to clean the guest bath shower.  It had been driving me nuts.  The guest bathroom had become my horse blanket dripping and drying station during those wet weeks of weather.  The bath itself was a muddy mess and the floor had its share.  Done.

One of my neighbors rode by on her bike and we managed to squeeze in an enjoyable five minute conversation.  Earlier, another neighbor texted me that she wanted my coffee order and she came and delivered me a decaf latte!  And all animals have been completely kissed, loved and given fruits and vegetables in addition to their breakfast.

There is still much to be done.  I have to head out soon to teach a private lesson so that will break my stride, but I am quite satisfied with today's accomplishments.

My Prayer for Today

My prayer for today is that we each recognize our own divine value and believe in that value without searching outward for validation, without comparing ourselves to others, without criticizing others in order to feel self worth.  

May we be able to celebrate the successes of others with sincerity without questioning and counting our own successes. 

May we relieve ourselves of fear, because without fear, hate has no place to breed. 

May we be concerned with only our own truth, our own happiness, our own responsibility to this planet which is to love all.  

May we find the power in taking responsibility for our own actions, reactions, choices and outcomes.  When we embrace this power, we obtain a tranquility in our spirit.  We realize anything is possible.

May we use this power to share compassion for others.  For when we accept control of our own emotions, we will wish this calm for everyone.

May we find a moment to sit in silence and experience peace.  May that moment become a minute and that minute become an hour.  

May that hour become a way of life.  

Namaste.