I try hard not to blame myself. What good would that do? I'd only feel worse and the situation would still be the same. The best one can do is learn from each experience. When things are in balance on the ranch and all is quiet and good, it's sometimes hard to switch into suspicion mode because it's just not what the vibe has been. The lesson is: always defer to the animals. Always respect and resonate with their instinct. They are the creatures who do not question what their gut is telling them; only we do that with our thoughts.
A week ago, I was in the midst of a fashion crisis while preparing to head out to teach and dance for the night. I should have left 7 minutes earlier and was running very late as I was trying on the 4th top and that's when I heard Shadow alarming. That caught my attention immediately because it was loud and definitive. I ran out to the deck to check on everything and saw him and the horses looking out to the street. The direction of my eyesight followed theirs to find Pippin running along the fence, out in the street.
So last evening, when I heard Big Red and the chickens alarming, I looked out and they were right under my window looking out to the street. I thought it couldn't be Pippin because they are locked in the dry lot and getting out is impossible (said with hope.) Just then, I saw Miss Spice squeezing herself out of the dog yard through one of the squares in the field fencing. I assumed the hens were tattling on her so I never went to the front windows to check the street. I went out to the deck, called the girls for a little snack, counted all 9 and went back inside to shower believing all was well.
Just minutes after stepping out of the shower, Bodie and Pinkie started barking so ferociously at the windows. Again, some things cannot be ignored, so I ran to see what it was and there was a fox, in my yard. I started screaming out the window, not wanting to take my eyes off of it. As it slipped between the lines of the electric fence, I noticed it had feathers in its mouth. I ran for clothes, sent the dogs out to the yard and ran outside still buttoning my shirt. The predator came in and out of the fence a couple of times until I let the dogs loose, and presumably it got wind of my wild strength to protect my ranch.
When the girls are threatened, they run to a safe spot and stay put. I had to go find where that was. I found Angel, Cat and Cinnamon huddled together, Cat looking like the fox got a bit of her. I picked her up, found the fox only got a mouthful of feathers, and carried her to the hen house. I did this, one by one, for the other two and then I saw Ginger. After going back and forth and calling for the other girls, Marilyn, Squirrel, Helen and Spice came running across the dry lot toward me at the hen house. Safely locked in, I went out looking for my Big Red.
Finding him was devastating.
In the next twenty five minutes I needed to secure his body, go in the house wipe my tears, get dressed and get to my 8pm lesson. I don't really remember teaching the class; I presume it went well. I left and was back home before 10pm. I went out in the night air to walk the ranch and make sure that in my adrenaline fueled frenzy I had latched all gates and closed all doors and that everyone was safe and secure. It was deadening at the hen house. I am accustomed to hearing Red doodle whenever I approach the house, even at night. Silence. The girls were fine, Ginger Astaire now in charge.
This morning was a rough start. I didn't let the hens out as I do every morning. Ginger protested all morning right into the afternoon. I took time to bury my feathered friend and select adornments for his grave. One pine cone for each of his 8 charges, a solid stone to represent his strength and courage, a branch of three, a number that has always resonated with me, and simple yet striking blue flowers.
The goodles and the dogs were circling around. I looked up after releasing Big Red to the other side of life and I saw a lilac bush! A lilac bush with blossoming flowers, both violet and white, with a fragrance to make you swoon. Obviously the bush had been there last year, but it had not flowered, so I never knew it existed.
In every tragedy there is something to be gained. Enjoying the simplicity of magical flowers well past their bloom on other bushes in the neighborhood, was the silver lining. My mother loves lilacs. We grew up with lilac bushes, light and dark purple and white, across our back fence. For many of us, the smell of lilacs calms our spirit and makes us smile. They worked again today.
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