Happy Holidays

I say it. I say "Happy Holidays!"

Back when I was in my early 20s, there was a year that unique hand-made ornaments were the gifts I sought out for my friends for Christmas. I looked for weeks for the perfect ornament for each friend.

I had recently met a new friend, Suzanne. I admired her very much, as i still do, and was looking forward to giving her one of my carefully mined gifts. I went to her cozy apartment in Brookline one night and found her simple decorative lights charming and tasteful. No signs of wreaths or stockings or Santa wrapping paper though.

Suzanne opened her gift with grace and appreciation. She marveled at the delicate intricacy of the ornament, admired it for its artistic value. Politely she noted that she doesn't have a Christmas tree. Huh.

She had never had a Christmas tree; why would she? She was raised in the Jewish faith. Suzanne found a safe place on a shelf to mount the ornament that had no flat foundation, after all, it was meant to hang on a Christmas tree.

Needless to say, the Merry Christmas card which accompanied the ornament was a little out of place too.

From this year on, I became aware of the fact that not everyone celebrated Christmas. Obvious as it may seem now, 20 some odd years ago I didn't have too many friends outside of gentiles. I made a point to find cards that read something other than Merry Christmas.

Then Glenn married Rene and although they have agreed to have a tree in the house, it is not for the "Christmas" reason but for the beauty and elegance of a family decorated tree.

Stacey married Scott. And the list has grown.

Everyone has a right to celebrate something this time of year, be it a recognized holiday or holy day or just to celebrate the fact that consumerism is at its peak right about now and you can get some pretty great shopping done regardless of faith or practice.

My take is this: unless you are at work in a public office where church and state are in fact to be separate, say what it is you want to say during this season.

When you send your greeting out to someone, say it with the practice of Dana in mind. Dana is unconditional generosity or giving; it's a Buddhist practice of seeking nothing in return. This is believed to lead to greater spiritual wealth.

So instead of waiting for someone to trip up and not respond the way you are expecting them to, do not expect. Just send your greeting out with all the love, compassion, sincerity and the biggest smile you can muster. And that should feel pretty good.